


Who are you to make me keep thinking about you?

by jaeyoonijagi



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Mark and Johnny are Brothers, Mental Health Issues, but jongin is like barely in it, so are taeyong and jongin, trigger warning for future chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-02-28 23:19:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13282002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeyoonijagi/pseuds/jaeyoonijagi
Summary: It's all fun and games until you start crushing on your best friend.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> The high school Johnyong story no one asked for but I wrote nonetheless. A story in which Johnny realizes he likes Taeyong more than he planned to.  
> This story will be very short. I have planned on writing 5-6 chapters but there will be a sequel (I say as I just finished the first chapter of this story).  
> While this story will focus on Johnny's feelings and how they develop, and at the same time some Taeyong mystery and Johnny's family life, the sequel will be more Taeyong-centric. (just a quick preview or smth)
> 
> Title from Blackpink's As If It's Your Last.
> 
> I wanna put out a warning, there is some brief homophobic dialogue in the last paragraph. Just so you know.

Girls' Generation's Genie blasted through the phone speakers, bringing Johnny back to reality. Groaning loudly, he slammed his hand down on the table on the right side of the bed, searching for the device that was currently doing all to annoy him. When his hand found what he was looking for, he grabbed it, guiding it to his face for him to check the time.   
6:30.  
He groaned again. Technically, if he showered quickly, he could sleep for half an hour more and be more rested than he was now, which would be needed since he stayed up finishing an essay 'til the sun was beginning to shine, causing vague shadows to fall all over his room, reminding him of the time.   
So yeah, thirty more minutes it is then. 

 

"Hyung? Bro, you'll be late if you don't wake up now."  
As he once again opened his eyes, he saw his younger brother in the doorway.   
"Yeah, yeah, thanks, I'll be out in 15."  
Mark smiled with a nod of approval before leaving again.   
For a second time that morning, Johnny picked up the phone. Checking the time, he felt gratefulness to Mark.  
6:45.  
At least he could shower for a little longer. Wanting to cry from sleeping too little and being thankful, his hands grip on the phone got looser and suddenly he was hit in the face with said device. What a great way to start the day.

 

He never wanted to leave said shower but found he had no choice and soon enough he entered the kitchen to join his brother and mother, father already having left for work.   
"Good morning!", his mother greeted from the stove.   
"Morning guys.", he replied, walking over to her to kiss her cheek, as he always did in the morning, before sitting next to the youngest family member.  
"Dude, you look like a zombie.", Mark said as he looked up from his phone, before falling back into whatever he was doing on his phone.   
"Can't say I feel any different."  
His mother joined them as she was finished with the breakfast preparation. Putting her sons' plates on the table, she sat down with her own cup of coffee.  
"When did you go to sleep? When I walked past your room by 3, you were still talking to someone."  
"Uhm, yeah, about that."  
"You know I hate it when you stay up so late, especially when you have school."  
"Mom, I had to finish this essay. Taeyong kept me company since he had some school stuff to finish too."  
Johnny saw his mother's eyes lit up at the mention of his best friend.   
"How is he doing? His parents can't approve of him sitting up at such hours!"  
"He's stressed but he'll manage. He always does. And I honestly don't think his parents are as big stalkers as you are."  
Pretending to be offended, the woman of the house gasped.   
"It's not stalking, John, it's keeping up with your children!"  
"We all have our own ways to describe it, I suppose."  
"Besides, it didn't sound as if you were talking school stuff."  
Johnny looked up.   
"We never really talk school stuff. It's not like Mark talks school with his friends either."  
"Don't pull me into your relationship!"  
Johnny looked at his brother and chuckled.  
"Relationship."  
"Taeyong is a really handsome man, girls must go crazy over him.", his mother went on.   
"You should see everyone react to him at school. Mom, it's not even only the girls freaking out, boys do too!", Mark exclaimed, somewhat excited over explaining it.   
"I can imagine!"  
"He's single though."  
"That's a shame, really.", his mother said, pouting slightly. "He must be too focused on school."  
He really was. Johnny assumed it was because of the pressure his parents put on him.   
"You two better get ready, if you don't wanna run to school."

 

Johnny found Yoonoh and Seungwan, the only two friends who also read advanced English, in front of the school building.   
"Jeffrey! Wendy!"  
"Johnny!"  
"You're earlier than usual."  
"Mark woke me up earlier than I expected. Was planning on sleeping until 7, but someone did not allow that."  
He found it embarrassing for some reason, to say he was thankful he was woken up when he was, so he decided a little white lie wouldn't hurt.  
"Stop staying up late and you won't have that problem.", Yoonoh deadpanned.   
"When else am I going to do it?"  
"You're just making excuses to talk to Taeyong."  
Johnny raised an eyebrow. "I don't need an excuse to talk to my best friend."  
"Sure."  
"Before you two cause a severe quarrel, let's get to class. If I'm late because of you, you'll both be sorry.", Seungwan interrupted them, stepping between them.   
"I'd never fight Johnny, guy is a giant."  
Johnny couldn't do much but laugh. He loved having someone like Yoonoh, someone he could say whatever he wanted to, who would fight back without hesitation. Of course, Seungwan stepping between before it could actually become serious was just a plus. Johnny wasn't sure he would change his relationship with the two if he could. He liked it like this.

 

He might have two of his best friends in class with him, but reading advanced English wasn't something he sincerely wanted. His mother had convinced him to do so, Johnny not having to ask his father, who didn't give him any choice.   
"He just wants the best for you, sweetheart.", his mother told him.   
He wanted to believe it, but he doubted his father's intentions. His father did not want the best for Johnny, he wanted the best for _himself_. Reading a difficult program, meant a better reputation, which meant he could get into better schools and therefore get a better job with more money, which in turn, could be used by his father. He wasn't stupid, he knew what the older man wanted.   
If Johnny could decide himself, he'd read more music based courses. He would love to do music, but he knew succeeding in music was difficult. Maybe 'choosing' advanced English would be better for him. Maybe. 

 

"Have you seen Taeyong today?", Johnny asked as they made their way through the hallway.  
"Seulgi started earlier today with the dance class, so I assume he did too.", Seungwan answered. "When did you two say goodbye yesterday?"  
"Not sure, didn't check the time, but the sun was definitely starting to rise. 5 maybe?"  
"Poor guy."  
"Nah, I'm fine."  
"I meant Taeyong."  
"Well, fuck you then."  
Seungwan laughed. "Don't be like that. I pity you too, but you started 8. Dance started 7 today, for whatever reason I do not know."  
"He never told me. I'd never let him stay up until early in the morning if I did."  
"As if he would tell you. If you two could decide you'd never turn off Skype. The least thing he'd do is tell you to turn off earlier than necessary."  
"I just hope he'll be alright."  
"He will be, I'm sure of it. Right, Yoonoh?"  
They both turned to Yoonoh, who didn't speak up during their whole situation, and noticed how his face was glued to the screen, most likely texting Dongyoung, his boyfriend.   
"Yah, Jeffrey!"  
"What? Don't call me Jeffrey, my name is Yoonoh!"  
"Then listen!"  
"I don't want to hear about Johnny and Tae's lovey dovery late night Skype calls."  
"Someone missed my main point.", Seungwan sighed. "Whatever. He wouldn't contribute with anything smart anyway."  
Yoonoh rolled his eyes. "You're so nice in the morning, Wendy, that must be why Peter Pan went to get you during the evening. I guess you're not as snappy at that time during the day."  
"And you're surprisingly original for once."  
Johnny noticed how students around them started paying attention to his two bickering friends, and therefore grabbed both of their collars and dragged them towards the classroom at a more rapid pace. They could bicker in the classroom instead.

 

Lunch approached slowly, the two hour English class being worse than the following two hour History lesson. As much as he loved both Seungwan and Yoonoh dearly, he hated being caught in class with both of them at the same time. He could stand them together any other time, but not in class. He'd say that's what made History with Seungwan better than English with both of them.   
They sat down at their usual table. Dongyoung soon joining.   
"Hey guys!"  
"Doyoung-ah!"  
"Babe!"  
He sat down beside his boyfriend, who welcomed him with open arms. Literally.   
"Ugh, the two of you make me feel lonlier than I am.", Seungwan complained, taking a bite of her food.   
"Makes me wanna go out and meet people.", Johnny added.  
"You won't have to go far.", Yoonoh commented.   
Johnny glared at him, knowing exactly what the younger meant.   
"I'm not into Taeyong. I'm not even into dudes."  
"I never said you were. I'm sure most girls in here would be happy to have you asking them out. I'm sorry if I sound like I want you to date your best friend, I guess."  
Johnny rolled his eyes. "It just gets annoying when people keep asking you to date someone you don't like that way, you know? Sort of like an arranged marriage in movies."  
"In movies they always end up falling for each other in the end."  
"Forget I said anything."  
"Just side note, you should hear all shit that's said in the locker rooms."   
Yoonoh was part of the school's basket ball team, Johnny being reminded daily by Dongyoung who never shut up about how proud he was. Johnny found he had every right to be.   
"I totally should, think they'd allow me to come listen?", Seungwan commented.   
"Ooh, I'm sure they'd love to have you there.", Dongyoung replied, lifting his chopsticks to feed his younger boyfriend. The gesture was simple but oh so sweet.   
"What is being said in the locker rooms, then?", Johnny asked, pushing around food with his chopsticks. Yoonoh finished chewing before speaking up again.   
"Because most of my team members being afraid of the word gay, they came up with this thing sort of...like it's not gay if it's Taeyong."  
"What the hell?", Johnny said, quite offended over their reasoning.   
"I never said I play in a team with smart people you know. If I met these people in a chatroom I'd think they were time travelers from the 19th century. Sometimes I wonder if they know the wheel has been invented already, if you know what I mean."  
"But where did their...reasoning come from?", Seungwan asked, Johnny being thankful he wasn't the only one reacting strongly to it.   
Yoonoh shrugged. "They think they have the right to have anyone because they are the athletes here. I don't know how many people I've heard talk about asking Taeyong out to be honest. He's the topic in there at least once a day. But as I told you, they are afraid of the word gay, and therefore decided that because Taeyong is very pretty, it's not gay, because you know...only girls are pretty. Apparently. Logic never fails to surprise me.   
Johnny was about to complain about the team's closed mindset when Dongyoung interrupted.   
"Speaking of devil and here he is. Or technically he's more of an angel, but still. Taeyong is here.", he nodded his head towards where said guy walked in slowly with a girl almost the same height due to her heels, conversing about something they couldn't tell. They were probably going to separate and walk to their own friends but got caught in whatever important matter they were discussing.   
"His height is cute.", Seungwan commented. "At least I don't have to snap my neck to talk to him and maintain eye contact with him, unlike with you three towers."  
"That's rude, Seungwan, and I am hurt.", Dongyoung said, bashing his eyelashes dramatically while putting a hand on his chest.   
"I can't believe I somehow thought you were straight when I met you."  
The other just smirked and blew the female a kiss before letting his gaze fall back on the missing member of their table.   
"Johnny. Ask Tae for Seulgi's number.", Yoonoh told him.   
"Give me a good reason."  
"She's cute. I'm sure Tae can give you a better description of her personality than I can."  
"Do you think Tae and Seulgi are dating? That doesn't look like a friend to friend conversation in my opinion.", Seungwan opened up about her thoughts.   
Johnny assumed she was referring to the way they were smiling at each other nonstop and he couldn't help but to agree that it looked like it.   
"They match.", Johnny commented. And he meant it, they could be a power couple if they started dating.   
"Things are getting heated, guys!"  
Heated meant a hug.   
"That's not a hug between friends, I'm telling you, that's tighter than Yoonoh hugs me."  
"Excuse me? What fucking Yoonoh are you talking about because it's certainly not me.", Yoonoh said as he smacked his boyfriend's tricep.   
"Look at that! They are practically becoming one!"  
Johnny couldn't disagree. He almost felt as if looking at them interrupted their privacy. Seulgi might have worn high heels, but she was still slightly shorter than the male she was hugging, arms wrapped around his neck, her head leaning against his while she was still talking. He couldn't see Taeyong's expression because of Seulgi's head but Johnny assumed he was still smiling, as his lean arms tightened their grip around the girl's waist. He wondered what it would be like to be hugging someone that tightly. Hugging friends like that would be weird. Maybe he could ask Taeyong for a hug like that, where he could have lean arms around his neck, while wrapping his own arms around his shorter friend's slim waist.  
Catching himself thinking about it made him look away and blush.  
"Hey guys."  
And suddenly there was a body beside Johnny.   
"So you and Seulgi?", Dongyoung said, wiggling his eyebrows.  
"Seulgi and I?",   
"When did you start dating?"  
"We're not."  
"Are you sure?", Seungwan asked. "Because...you know...you're late and all."  
Taeyong rolled his eyes. "We ended earlier so we decided to go for some coffee."  
"So you went on a date?"  
"It wasn't a date. Or I mean, platonic date, maybe?"  
"Mhm, I'm sure.", Seungwan said, sipping some water from a bottle.   
"Oh, yeah, Taeyong-ah?", Johnny said, turning to watch his best friend, voice catching in his throat when he looked at the other. Why was he being like this?  
Shaking his weirdness off, he started again. "Why didn't you say you had practice so early? I wouldn't have kept you up all night if I knew!"  
The younger just shrugged. "Didn't want it to end."  
Johnny looked away and accidently made eye contact with Yoonoh, who was smirking while bringing his drink up to take a sip.   
"You need to care for yourself more."  
"I had to finish my work too anyways. Last thing I want is you sitting up by yourself."  
Johnny found himself smiling softly.   
"Why did you start earlier anyway?"  
"Ah, eh, uhm....we were just slacking?"  
"Why are you asking us? We wouldn't know if you're slacking!", Seungwan pointed out, noticing how nervous the dancing male got over the question.   
"I'm just tired."  
Johnny was about to comment on it when he felt the guy beside him grab a hold of his arm and hug it tightly while leaning his head against Johnny's shoulder. It was a familiar action, the younger being known for being cuddly. So why did Johnny's heart feel like it would beat out of his chest. Maybe he was coming own with something, he had been feeling straight lately after all.   
Suddenly the head disappear again, Johnny seeing Taeyong do a drastic 180 turn from the corner of his eyes, him soon following the younger to see what was going on. He saw Seulgi standing there.  
"I forgot to give you your hoodie back.", Seulgi hung the hoodie around Taeyong'd shoulders, sending him a smile while stroking his hair careuflly.   
"You didn't have to give it back yet! Are you still freezing?"  
"Nope, it's all good. Thanks for letting me borrow it, Taetae! I got to go now!"  
"See you tomorrow!"  
"6:30 tomorrow! Don't be late!"  
"I won't!"  
When Seulgi left, Taeyong let his arms go into the hoodie, putting it on properly but letting it be unzipped.   
"Sure, you're so not dating.", Yoonoh spoke up, making sure Seulgi was out of sight before doing so.   
"We're not. I'd let you know it we were."  
"So you're willingly coming here at 6:30 when you usually start 8, all for someone who's not your girlfriend?"  
"Yeah."  
"You're making no sense whatsoever.", Seungwan said. Taeyong just sipped some water and rolled his eyes. Johnny took note of how thirsty all of his friends were this particular day.   
"Maybe that's the best."  
No one decided to speak against it, knowing Taeyong would tell them if he wanted them to know.   
"Anyways, I have to go. Johnny, you coming?", Taeyong said turning to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him up without having received an anwer.  
"Of course, Tae, right after you. Literally."  
Taeyong sent him a 1000 Watt smile, Johnny's heart fluttering painfully. Maybe he should go see the nurse later. 

 

As soon as he came home, he threw himself on the couch. He was so tired. He didn't usually stay up late but form time to time he did, with company from Taeyong, who didn't let him sit up alone no matter what he did. It was hard to avoid telling him as well, as the younger was the last person he texted or called before sleeping. He didn't want the younger to stay up as late as he did, but he also did not want to change it. He was just thankful Taeyong cared so much. Deciding that staying up all night a second night in a row wasn't worth it, he threw open his English textbook and got ready to study.  
Two hours later he was called down for dinner.  
"How was your day?", his mother began.  
"It was alright. Tiring, but alright."  
"Don't stay up all night talking to friends then.", his father commented.   
"I was doing homework.", he replied. He did, only not as much as he maybe should have.   
"Did not sound like homework when I walked past your room."  
"We don't have the same homework."  
"Right, your late night friend is a dancer."  
Johnny could almost taste the distaste in his father's voice on his own tongue.   
"Yeah.", he wasn't sure what else to answer.  
"He will have a difficult time in the future. And then you'll thank me I didn't let you go for something as stupid as that."  
"He's doing great in every class he's in. I'm sure he'll be fine. If anything he could probably find some dancing job. He's amazing."  
"Like that will save him. His parents should have stopped him."  
"His parents support him and know what he's capable of."  
The atmosphere was becoming more tense with each passing second.   
"I'm sure Taeyong will do fine in the future.", his mother spoke up, trying to bring the attention away from the subject.   
"He could be a model!", Mark exclaimed.   
His mother laughed, suddenly all about the subject. "Yeah, I believe so too. Have you suggested him that?"  
"Mom, no, just no. I can't just tell him that!", Johnny laughed.   
"Can we stop talking about Johnny's gay friend now?"  
The whole table fell silent for a few seconds.   
"Taeyong isn't gay, dad.", Johnny muttered after some seconds of complete silence.   
"He's a dancer. That's a hint right there. And if he could be a model, he must be good-looking and therefore most likely beauty fixed. That's pretty gay if you ask me and that's not something I want to have to do with."  
"Hyunsik! Don't talk like that!", the woman of the house, thankfully, interrupted. "There's nothing wrong with being a male dancer, or with being gay for that matter.  
"Besides, he's got a girlfriend.", Mark said. "I saw them together in the cafeteria earlier.  
"They aren't dating. At least not according to him."  
"Listen, it's fine if you want to see him as straight but I certainly won't ever.", his father said, putting down his chopsticks after finishing dinner.  
"You haven't even met the guy.", Johnny said.   
His father rolled his eyes. "I'm going for a smoke."  
As soon as he left, his mother grabbed his hand. "I apologize for his behavior. Taeyong is lovely and I hope you don't take any of your father's words seriously."  
Johnny smiled at her, smile not quite reaching his eyes. "I promise."  
_Yeah, I'm definitely not gay_ , he told himself. He was attracted to girl anyway, why did he even bother thinking he might have liked guys? He was sure he just needed more sleep to be sane again. 


	2. 2

So, sleeping did not help. He still felt weird and he wasn't sure how to deal with it. He had only felt like this once, back when he was in love with someone who used to be his best female friend who was already taken. Or he wasn't really in love with her, he liked her boyfriend but that is beside the point and not something he wanted to talk about. It was not a feeling that was missed. He wanted to deny it but he believes he might be crushing a little on Taeyong. But who didn't? Besides, he got over the feelings he had on his ex-best friend ('s boyfriend), and he was certain he had been in love at that time. If he can get over being in love, then he could get over a stupid crush.

 

"Hello? Earth to Johnjohn?", Yoonoh was waving a hand in front of his best friend.  
"Sorry, what?"  
"I asked if you're okay. I've been calling your name for almost a minute."  
"I was just thinking.", Johnny muttered and got his head down in that damn textbook, re-reading what he already read four times.   
"Is something wrong?", the change in Yoonoh's voice made him snap his head back up to face him again.   
"I...I don't know?"  
"What don't you know?", Seungwan entered the conversation.   
Johnny put his elbows on the table, letting his head fall in his hands, fingertips curling around his hair loosely. He sighed. "I just might like someone?"  
Both of his friends' faces lit up. "What? You serious?"  
"You're acting as if I never get interested in others."  
"Because you don't?"  
"I've fallen in love before!"  
"Wow, how many times? Two?"  
"One.", he mumbled. He felt ashamed. Everyone else his age had already been in multiple relationship, including the two idiots he was caught with this morning. And he hadn't been in a single one.   
"That makes it even more exciting! Do we know her?"  
Oh shoot. He forgot about that part.   
"Well, yeah. I suppose you do."  
"Ooooooh!", both of his friends exclaimed and high fived. Johnny was thankful the teacher was not currently present. They all would be in deep trouble if he was.   
"You have to tell us all about it later."  
Johnny sighed once again. He shouldn't have said anything.

 

He had mixed feelings about lunch. Lunch was his favorite time in school because all friends would gather, talk and have a good time, but he did not feel like going this day. He wanted to see Taeyong and act as if everything was alright, really, he did. But he wasn't sure he'd be able to. At the same time he found he should be able to since he has done before, but at the same time, until this day he had surpressed his feelings to avoid having to deal with it and think about it. He hasn't accepted his own conclusion yet, he did not find it okay to be crushing on his best friend one tiny bit. But he also wasn't mad at himself over it? He was just confused. Confused and scared.   
"Are you going to tell us now?", Seungwan started as soon as all, but one member, were present.   
"Tell us what?", Dongyoung asked while picking up a piece of cucumber, not sounding quite as interested as Johnny expected.   
"Johnny likes someone!"  
Dongyoung choked on the cucumber he a second ago started chewing, Yoonoh hitting his back.   
"Jeffrey, don't do that, it makes it worse!", Seungwan facepalmed.   
"Well, wendy, at least I tried doing something."  
Dongyoung grabbed his water bottle, unscrewing the cap and taking a few sips. When he felt stable again, he started speaking.   
"Who do you like?"  
"That's what we want to know too, idiot.", Yoonoh told him. Dongyoung glared at him and the younger just blew him a kiss.  
"Love you."  
"Seriously doubting that at times."  
Yoonoh laughed and pinched the other's cheek. "Anyways, who do you like?"  
"I...I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it to be honest with you."  
"Is it someone we know?"  
"Well...", Johnny took a look at Seungwan, who was smiling at him.   
"In class he told us we know her."  
Dongyoung sat still for a few seconds. "We do? Oh my gosh, is it Seulgi?"  
"No, no, no, it's not Seulgi."  
"Then who?"  
Timing has never been his friend but for once it decided to save him. His phone buzzed, letting him know he got a text, saving him from answering his friends. He picked up the phone, that he did not drop on his face this day. 

 **From: Yongie**  
_wont make it to lunch. prctice with sseul. see u in class :*_

Johnny found himself smiling at the text. He might not be able to see Taeyong for a while longer, but that was fine. They had class together all afternoon anyways, and it gave him more time to gather his thoughts and feelings.  
"Is it her?", Yoonoh asked, leaning over the table to see who the smiling man received a text from. As if it was a secret, Johnny pulled his phone down, putting it on the table beside the plate.   
"It was just Taeyong. He won't make it to lunch, he's practicing with 'Sseul'."  
"Sseul?", the way Dongyoung's lips were tugging upwards when realizing what it meant was priceless. "They are so dating!"  
"Who knows what type of practice they are doing? It's not like the rest of the dance group is still practicing.", Yoonoh pointed out.   
His statement made them all look around and noticed how right he was.   
"That's...true. What the hell, TY, what are you up to?", Seungwan laughed.   
"Seriously, what is going on?"  
"Good question.", Johnny muttered before getting his phone back in his hands to type a reply.

 **To: Yongie**  
_r u dissing me for someone else? i cnat believe u ty_

 **From: Yongie**  
_dont b stupid. u will always b my no 1 <3_

 **To: Yongie**  
_xoxoxo_

"Okay, but Johnny, you gotta stop smiling at your phone so creepily."  
"Oh, shit, sorry."

 

But is Taeyong and Seulgi really dating? That's the thought Johnny couldn't let go off. Of course, he would be happy for Taeyong if they were, Seulgi seemed like a genuinely sweet girl, and if Taeyong liked her, he wanted him to date her. He would just be even happier if he could have any type of chance with the guy he was currently crushing on.   
Deciding he was moving on way too fast, not even being sure if he was attracted to guys. Hell, just this morning he decided he liked Taeyong, maybe he didn't. Maybe he didn't feel anything except for friendly feelings for the younger. He hated feeling like this.   
"Taeyong!", he saw the younger waiting outside of the classroom, Seulgi standing in front of him.   
"Johnny!"  
Johnny let his arm wrap around the smaller's shoulder.  
"Hello there, my lady, pleasure to meet you! My name is Johnny and I am this idiot's best friend.", while Taeyong hit his arm, Johnny reached his hand out for the girl in front of him to shake. She laughed before taking his hand.  
"I am Seulgi. Taeyong and I are in the same dance class."  
"Oh, I've noticed!"  
Taeyong rubbed the back of his neck nervously.   
"Do you have chemistry now too?"  
"No, thankfully not today, certainly can't feel the chemistry between me and that subject!"  
Okay, Johnny had to give it to Taeyong, this girl was definitely a charmer.   
"Ahh, Sseulie, you're too cute!", Taeyong almost shrieked while pinching the girl's cheeks. Johnny found himself smiling. It hurt, but he still smiled.   
"I'm going. If I don't run into you after classes are done, I'll see you another time Johnny. See you tomorrow, Tae, don't be late!"  
"You know I won't be!"  
Seulgi gave Johnny's arm a squeeze and ruffled Taeyong's hair before waving goodbye, entering the classroom a little further down the hallway. Johnny looked at the way his best friend's eyes were soft and gentle, as it always was when he was with his friends, unlike the nerve wrecking gaze he usually wore in public. Johnny felt jealous the softness wasn't only his and the other three idiots' anymore.   
"So, you and Seulgi?"  
Taeyong sighed. "I already told you yesterday! There's nothing between us."  
"Mhm, whatever you say."  
"Gosh, you're annoying!"  
"That's why we've been friends for such a long time. I need someone to keep me in check."  
"And let me tell you, that is no easy task."  
Johnny sidehugged the other. "Just know that I'm always here if you need someone to talk to."  
"You know I am too."

 

Johnny understood that he needed advanced English for the future, but he could sincerely not see the point in chemistry. Of course, everything made sense, and it was basically just to memorize what he read to ace the tests. But that was difficult on its own. And to be honest, even if he wasn't that interested in the subject, he wanted to learn what he read, not only memorize it for a test to later forget. He wanted the information to stick.  
"This is too hard.", he groaned quietly, causing Taeyong to look up from what he was writing in his notebook.   
"What is?"  
"Everything."  
Taeyong giggled. "Need some help."  
"Please, please, I'd pay anything."  
"You don't have to pay anything, who are you trying to make me out to be?"  
"I knew I could count on you!"  
"But you know, you have to read. I won't."  
Johnny smirked. "Deal."  
So they teamworked the rest of the lesson. What Johnny loved about the school was that after class begun, unless teachers had a lecture planned, students could sit somewhere else and work if they wanted to. Not always, but a lot of the times it worked like that, which explained why they didn't have to whisper, seeing most of their classmates had gone somewhere else, some to work and some to do irrelevant stuff Johnny couldn't care less about. Before they knew it, class was over, all students having returned to the classroom to get a final check up of how they had worked.   
"Can we work with this later?", Johnny whispered to his deskmate.   
"Of course. Online or nah?"  
Johnny shrugged. "I'd prefer to go to my house but if you can't then online will do."  
"I think I can actually."  
"You're a savior."  
"Mr. Seo? How did today go?"  
"Great!"  
"And Mr. Lee?"  
"Same."  
When the teacher went on with each student, Johnny turned to whisper to the smaller male again.   
"For a second I thought he was going to call us out."  
"Me too! I almost stopped breathing for a while there."  
"Class dismissed. Have a nice day everyone."  
A wave of 'you too teacher' went through the room before everyone left.   
"We have Geometry now, right?"  
"Yes."  
"Wow, someone's excited."  
"I'm just tired, you know."  
"Why do you have dance so early in the morning anyway?"  
"I told you yesterday, it's-"  
"Not at all because you're lacking, because the rest of the class started normal time today. I ran into some others when on my way to advanced English."  
There was a silence between them, Taeyong's face unreadable.  
"I...I guess...i-it's because we needed to practice."  
"For fuck's sake Taeyong, stop thinking up a lie! It doesn't matter what you say, I won't judge you. Just be honest with me."  
"Right now, I can't."

 

The last lesson was awkward to say. After their small quarrel on the way there, they didn't speak more. Johnny just couldn't understand why the younger couldn't be honest with him. Why was he suddenly a mystery?  
Deciding that he wouldn't get the task they were given for the week ready by this lesson, he slowed down on the reading, trying to stop the growing headache he was getting from thinking too hard. Unfortunately, he would get even more to think about as class ended. When out of the classroom, he hooked his arm with Taeyong's, leaning closer to his ear.   
"Still coming to my place?"  
"Of course! Or if you don't want me to be there, I won't."  
"Why wouldn't I want you there?"  
Taeyong was about to answer when the old, nice man Johnny wished was his teacher, stopped in front of them. But Johnny didn't read the Maths the teacher taught, he only read the regular one, because the man taught advanced Maths, which was at the same time as his advanced English class. Both classes were what you would pick outside of the schedule the school made for each student of each year, because their principal wanted the students to have the opportunity to pick a class themselves. While Yoonoh, Seungwan and Johnny all picked English, Taeyong picked dance and Dongyoung picked Art. Johnny didn't let himself think twice before picking the advanced English class, even if he wanted to read something music related, because his parents wouldn't allow it. But they would probably allow Maths, because it's Maths after all.   
"Mr. Lee, could I possibly borrow thirty minutes of your afternoon? I want to discuss the upcoming chapter."  
Taeyong looked at Johnny. "Can we meet at your house later?"  
"Nah, I'll wait here. Go now, don't make a teacher wait!"  
Taeyong left with the teacher, both of the young males deciding to meet up in the library, where Johnny was currently heading. The whole situation was strange. Taeyong didn't read advanced Maths. He danced during that time. Maybe that was why he started so early? Johnny would question him later. When he stepped into the library, the first thing he noticed was Yoonoh and Dongyoung behind two books, raised on the table as if they were reading together, which Johnny knew was far from what was going on. Apart from them, it was pretty empty. Most students didn't spend their afternoon in the school library, if even at a library at all they would go to the one inside the city instead.   
"Hey you guys!", Johnny spoke silently, not wanting to disturb the few people who were present.  
Both of their heads whipped far away from each other.   
"Johnny, hi!"  
"You guys are too much! Why would you make out in a library?"  
"Why the hell not?", Yoonoh questioned.   
"Can we still question who you like?"  
Johnny went silent, thinking about it. After a minute he spoke up again.   
"Yeah...about that...I have a thing I need to ask you."  
"Oh yeah?"  
"How did you know you liked each other? Like how did you know it was mutual?"  
"I asked.", Yoonoh stated, Dongyoung hitting him with one of the books they were hiding behind previously.   
"What? He asked and I answered. Trying to keep it simple here."  
"Before he asked me out, we had both been kind of hinting it, I suppose? Hm, I don't know how to explain for it to make sense, but we could do things like special nicknames, innuendos and give each other the vibes. You know...the vibes."  
"I can't say I know exactly what you mean, but sure. I'll leave it there."  
"What are you doing here though? You already ended."  
"You have also ended."  
"I asked first."  
"I'm waiting for Tae, we're going to study together."  
"Oooh, a study date! Remember when we used to have those?", Dongyoung looked like a child during Christmas.   
"We used to have study dates before we dated, but as soon as we established things, this one wouldn't let me study alone."  
"Yah, that was mutual!"  
"Yeah, well, Tae and I aren't having a study date, we're just helping each other out."  
"Which is exactly what a study date is."  
"Whatever."  
"But you both have ended already."  
"He's having a talk with the advanced Maths teacher."  
"He doesn't read that. He dances."  
"That's what I thought."  
"Kid's got a lot of explaining to do."  
"Kid's older than you."  
"Kid's still my little son."  
"What the serious fuck Doyoung."  
"You have some weird kinks, Dongyoung. I would know.", Yoonoh said.  
"What have I told you about my name?"  
Yoonoh just rolled his eyes. "Sorry, I just let it slip. I still don't get why you want to get it changed."  
"Doyoung sounds better."  
"I think they both sound perfectly fine."  
"I didn't change for you, so step off your horse man.", when Dongyoung switched to English during the last part, Yoonoh and Johnny burst out laughing. Dongyoung wasn't even bad at English, quite the contrary, but it was the least thing the other two expected.   
"You're really something Doyoung. Never change."  
Dongyoung looked taken aback by that statement. "I...I'll try...not to change I guess?"  
Yoonoh shook his head, smiling fondly while leaning in to kiss the other's temple.   
"So about Taeyong's sudden Maths class-"  
"What about it?"  
All of their heads snapped to Taeyong who was walking up to them.   
"You know you speak way louder than what the library allows, right?"  
Listening to the newcomer, the others realized they had raised their voices without thinking.   
"Since when do you read advanced Maths?", Dongyoung bluntly asked.   
"I have all this year."  
"No, you have dance during that time?"  
"I read it outside of school and just do tests here."  
"What the hell?"  
"What?"  
"Isn't that too much?", Yoonoh asked, a slight frown forming between his eyebrows.   
"It gets a little much but what to do about it? If I wanna dance I must read Maths."  
"Your parents put too much pressure on you, I'm not even joking.", Johnny pouted.   
Taeyong let out a breathy laugh, mouth curving upwards but eyes flashing with emotions Johnny couldn't quite recognize. It looked fake and that was not a look Taeyong should wear. Johnny assumed it was because of how much pressure his parents did indeed put on him. He had seen his best friend have breakdowns over having too much to do with too little time, and it had gone so far the younger had dropped a glass of water and started picking up the pieces with his hands, not caring that they were cutting up his hands, as he was too caught up in the stress. That's not something he'd like to witness again.   
"Aha! That's why you start dancing earlier! TY, you should've just told us so."  
Taeyong seemed to think for a while before answering. "It's embarrassing to admit such thing. Who would want to say they leave home at 6 to practice dance to be able to keep up with Maths?"  
"Okay, true!", Yoonoh laughed. "No one would like to say that."  
"Johnny, should we go?"  
"Guys, we're going to study. But we'll see you in the group chat?"  
"Duh."

 

"Mom, I'm home!"  
"I was starting to wonder where you were!"  
The two young guys entered the kitchen where the woman was sitting, reading a magazine.   
"How was- Oh, you brought Taeyong!", the woman was on her feet and by them in seconds. "I was wondering when I'd see you again!"  
"It's been a while.", Taeyong answered, far used by being treated as her child. She hugged him close.   
"Youngho, thank you for bringing my son home!"  
Johnny whined. "Mom!"  
"What? Feeling left out?"  
"Don't use that name!"  
She hugged him as well, which he didn't turn down because he loved his mother. But his problem was about the name. Like Dongyoung, he had a preferred name, which was a nickname version of his English name. With his Korean name, it became too personal.   
"Sorry for holding Youngho-yah back! It was not my intention!"  
"Yah! I'm older than you!"  
He turned to face his mother again, her looking back with a soft facial expression, subtle smile dancing on her lips.   
"It's fine, Taeyong-ah, but only because it's you."  
"Mooooon! We're going to do homework."  
"Do so. Don't overwork yourselves!"  
"We won't."  
"They walked up the stairs to Johnny's room, entering the room and closing the door behind them.  
"I'm so sorry about my mom."  
"You know I love your mom."  
"Almost forgot about that."  
Taeyong hit his arm playfully before placing himself on the floor, the scene awfully familiar to Johnny. He missed when they hung out every single day, whether it was to do homework or to do something else. Company was all Johnny wanted. Taeyong's company more so.   
"Are you ready to start or are you going to stand there all day?"  
Johnny damned the big eyes staring up at him all innocently. He gulped before reclaiming his calm.   
"What should we start with?"  
"Chemistry?"  
"Sure, sure."

 

It wasn't that Johnny didn't want to study. But something about the way Taeyong's eyes would squint when he read something he didn't understand and the way he would bring a hand up to his face and tap his cheekbone trying to put two and two together, was too much for Johnny to handle. The fact that his lips always pouted when reading didn't help. He took his time to study the other, noticing the way the younger blinked rapidly from time to time only to realize the real problem.   
"Aren't you wearing contacts?"  
Taeyong looked up, slight pout still on his lips. He licked his lips before answering. "No, I never really wear them."  
"Why?"  
"They hurt."  
Johnny chuckled. "Just wear your glasses then."  
"Stop joking around like that."  
The smile Johnny wore before slowly faded. "What do you mean joke? Your glasses look great on you."  
"That's just because you have to say that."  
Johnny was full on frowning. "No? I don't have to say it, I wouldn't point it out if I didn't think it. Why would I be joking?"  
"My eyes look too fucking big in them."  
"Why would that be bad?"  
"It's ugly with eyes this big."  
Johnny couldn't believe his ears. In what universe was Taeyong not attractive? Not to mention, his eyes were Johnny's favorite part of his face.   
"Who said that?"  
"I said that. Whatever, let's just get on with this."  
"No, who said that?"  
"I just think that way. Glasses just make my eyes look twice as big."  
"And? I find your eyes amazing."  
"Taeyong just gave him a half smile.   
"Now, I don't see why you wouldn't think that-"  
"Compared to Jongin, they were too big."  
Suddenly everything made sense to Johnny. Taeyong had always been living in the shadow of his older brother. It hurt Johnny to see the younger so insecure when he was really a sight for sore eyes, all because his parents were like they were. Johnny felt bad over his opinion, but he really disliked his best friend's parents. On the other hand, Taeyong spent a lot of time with his grandmother, a lovely woman Johnny had meet more than the other's parents, who were never at home. Johnny had a memory so clear in his mind from when he overheard Taeyong talking to his grandmother on the phone, telling her how he didn't want to go home because he only got 95 out of 100 on a test. They way the younger let the words fall softly and carefully off his tongue, tears threatening to fall, made Johnny want to gather him in blankets and protect him forever.   
"Whatever your parents try to make you believe, it's not true."  
As if not expecting Johnny to know where his insecurities came from, he faced the other, facial expression looking way too bothered for Johnny to live with.  
"Do you have the glasses with you?"  
He could tell the other wanted to lie, the way his lips twitched slightly, as if he was about to speak up but regretted it, exposing him.   
"No lies."  
He received a nod. Johnny took it as his cue to search through the other's way-too-organized bag, finding them without a struggle. He grabbed the case and sat down crosslegged in front of the other as he opened the case, thick black frames lying before him. He took them out, putting the case to the side. Bringing out the temples of the glasses carefully, letting the temple tip glide along the other's face until they ended up where they should be. Johnny didn't realize how close they were until he could feel the air in the words Taeyong spoke.  
"Thank you."  
Johnny smiled.   
"You should wear glasses more often. You look even cuter like that."

 

As soon as Taeyong left, he brought out his phone to text Seungwan. 

 **To: Wenderland**  
_i have something to confess_

 **From: Wenderland**  
_Oh yeah?_

 **To: Wenderland**  
_honestly, i dont know how i feel about it_

 **From: Wenderland**  
_Okay, you're making me nervous now_

 **To: Wenderland**  
_its about the girl i like_

 **From: Wenderland**  
_Boi don't leave me hanging like this_

 **To: Wenderland**  
_okay so theres this thing about her_

**To: Wenderland**   
_and im not sure how to deal with it_

Johnny felt his heart about to burst in anticipation from waiting for the reply.

 **From: Wenderland**  
_Johnny Is2g if you don't asnwe what's wrong I'm conign over_

 **To: Wenderland**  
_i feel like crying_

 **From: Wenderland**  
_No, don't cry_

 **From: Wenderland**  
_Why do you wanna cry?_

 **To: Wenderland**  
_wends, i think i might be gay_

 **To: Wenderland**  
_fucking hell i think i might like taeyong_

 **From: Wenderland**  
_I'm on my way_

 


	3. 3

He waited for Seungwan to come over in the kitchen, where his mother and brother were sitting, both reading.   
"Seungwan's coming over, it's that alright?"  
"Of course! Seungwan's always welcome. Anything special happening? It's very late.", his mother said without looking up from her magazine.   
"I...I have something to confess."  
"Oh yeah?", Mark butted in. "What is it?"  
"Wait till Seungwan comes. I don't want to say it more than I have to."  
"You're making me worried Johnny.", his mother said with furrowed eyebrows. She still didn't look up.   
"Nothing to worry about.", Johnny wished he could believe it himself. Overall he hoped they wouldn't be mad at him, but he was thankful his father wasn't home. Telling him wouldn't be fun.   
The doorbell rang and he went to let the girl in. As soon as she saw his expression, she threw off her shoes and jacket before hugging him tightly.   
"I'm so sorry."  
Johnny couldn't take it. He let tears fall, burying his face in her shoulder, letting out pitiful sobs. He didn't care. Everything hurt too badly.   
"Let's go to the kitchen, hm?", she whispered in his ears and took his hands, guiding him into the kitchen.   
"Johnny, what's wrong?", his mother was full on freaking out, finally looking out when she heard sobs from the front door.   
In an instant, the three people in the house were all over him, Wendy hugging him, Mark stroking back with wide eyes, and his mom kneeling before him as he was sitting on a chair, trying to get eye contact with him. She kept stroking his face over and over.   
"I'm sorry.", he whispered.   
"What's wrong?", Mark questioned, both confused and worried.   
"Mom. Mark. I'm...", his voice got caught in his throat. Why was this so hard?  
"Take your time.", Seungwan whispered, taking his hand in her own, stroking her thumb across the back of his hand.   
"I...I like boys."  
He didn't dare to face his family.   
"Youngho."  
He was too scared. What had he done?  
"Youngho, look at me."  
The softness in his mother's voice was soothing, and too calming to be real.   
"Hyuuuuung, please look up.", Mark's voice was laced with aegyo, but Johnny knew it wasn't intentional. Mark was just naturally like that when he wanted something.   
He felt hands grip his face, tilting his head up slightly and he finally opened his eyes to meet his mother's teary ones.   
"I'm so proud of you.", she whispered and kissed his forehead.   
He felt Mark's arms go around him.   
"Why are you so upset about that?"  
It caused him to sob harder.   
"There's more to the story, isn't there?", Mark said quietly.   
"Is someone making fun of you?", his mother asked, tone sharper from the thought of her son being made fun of because of his romantic and sexual interest.   
"I like someone I shouldn't like."  
There was a moment of silence.   
"Is it Yoonoh?", Mark whispered carefully.   
Johnny chuckled at that. "No. I...I like Taeyong."  
"I know."  
Shocked, he looked up to once again face his mother, who was smiling softly at him.   
"What?"  
"I notice these things."  
He could hear Seungwan laughing at his side.  
"I-I, thank you."  
"Why would you thank us?", Mark laughed.   
"Can you promise me something?", his mother said seriously.   
"What?"  
His mother stroke his hair.   
"Confess as soon as you can. Don't go dragging these feelings with you."  
"I can't do that, I can't lose him, I can't ruin everything we ha-"  
"Youngho. Youngho, listen to me. You won't ruin anything. Taeyong isn't like that and you know that."  
"I just don't want to lose him."  
"He won't leave."  
"He's dating Seulgi."  
"He said he isn't though.", Seungwan pointed out.   
"Yeah, well, something's certainly going on."  
"Just don't drag it out too long, okay?", his mother said, pulling the conversation to an end.  
"Okay."

 

The next day was such a haze. Nothing about the pre-lunch classes were odd, Seungwan was a little more protective but that was basically it. During lunch however, he started hearing rumors going around about Taeyong and Seulgi. At first he wasn't interested at all, he brushed it off carelessly, but the more people he heard speaking about it, the more he wanted to know what was actually going on. It didn't help that all the people talking about it were part of the basketball team. Only good thing about that was that Yoonoh had heard more about it than Johnny had and could fill his friends in during lunch, where it was once again only four out five.   
"The captain was mad that Seulgi turned him down, saying she wasn't interested and he started making up scenarios about her being a lesbian or a slut of whatever bullshit he was spreading."  
"What the hell? That's so childish! Who does he think he is?", Seungwan was furious. "Just because she isn't interested doesn't mean she's any of it, what the hell?"  
Johnny took her hand and stroke her hand, much like she did to him the day before. She sent him a small smile and leaned onto his arm.   
"It's just frustrating."  
"It sure is. Where is Seulgi now?", Dongyoung asked. "I hope Taeyong is with her."  
"Is anyone in class with them now?"  
"I have Physics with Tae now.", Johnny spoke up. "Not sure about Seulgi though."  
"Let's just hope she's alright. 

 

Johnny and Seungwan were making their way down the hallway, as Seungwan had Chemistry which was in the same area as Johnny had Physics. This is when Johnny wished he didn't have to go to school. By the classroom, the captain of the basketball team and two of his friends were standing, disgusting grins on their faces.   
"Come on Seulgi, just one night."  
"Stop.", Taeyong told him, Johnny would lie if he said the look in his eyes wasn't scary. He could tell the captain thought the same, but due to being almost twice Taeyong's size, he barely budged. But it was still there.   
"I think you're only together so she can cover up her lesbianism. Obviously she's not straight if she won't sleep with me. Or maybe she's just a picky slut."  
"Shut up!", the smaller male yelled, startling all people who witnessed, as everyone knew Taeyong as the friendly, shy guy.   
Seungwan and Johnny walked up to the two and Seungwan immediately went to Seulgi's side to check for her well-being. Johnny simply chose to stand by Taeyong and stay quiet and wait for whatever would come next.   
"I'd pay for a night with you, Seulgi! Take the offer, it's the best you'll get."  
Seulgi looked ready to cry, and Johnny wanted nothing but to gather the girl in his arms and comfort her.   
"if you're lucky and really good, I'd give you a dollar, you're not really worth much mo-"  
In a matter of seconds, he was on the floor, hand covering the cheek, eyes wide in shock, as were everyone else's. Above him stood Taeyong, fuming in anger, eyes filled so much hatred Johnny thought the man under his friend would burn any second.   
"Shut the fuck up."  
"Wow. Woooooow! I honestly don't even think you're dating. She's just using you as her cover up. She's obviously not heterosexual, she'd been on her knees for me if she was!"  
"Say one more fucking thing, I dare you."  
Johnny felt his heart about to beat out of his chest and hoped, from the bottom of the beating machine in his chest, that someone had gone to get a teacher.   
"That's honestly disgusting. Why protect someone who's fucking homo? That's gross! She doesn't even love you, you're just her cover up so she won't have to come out!"  
A gasp left the man on the ground, as he was kicked in his side.   
"What if I told you she's my cover up for being gay? Huh?!"  
The rest went too fast. One second the captain was on the floor, the next he grabbed onto Taeyong's shirt to pull him down while pulling himself up. Johnny was genuinely thankful the captain's friends weren't as stupid as the captain himself, because they grabbed onto said stupid guy, while Johnny pulled Taeyong up, wrapping his arm around his torso while making sure his arms were wrapped around Taeyong's arm so he couldn't injure the guy held back in front of him or Johnny.   
"Let go of me!"  
Johnny pretended having the younger screaming at him didn't hurt. He did his best to brush it off, as he knew Taeyong wasn't in his right mind.   
"Taeyong, please calm down!"  
"I can't fucking believe it! The girl favorite Lee Taeyong, is fucking gay! He fucks boys, I can't fucking believe it! All guys, this homo here might get down on his knees for you!"  
Johnny could feel how much Taeyong was struggling to get out and go straight up in the other's face and continue hitting him. Johnny wished he could say he didn't want to do the exact same himself. He bit his tongue not to spill how he knew about Taeyong being a hot topic in their locker room. He didn't need to add drama now.   
"Lee Taeyong. Kim Gikwang. My office now."  
As if everyone was struck by some mysterious force, the hallway cleared and everyone pressed up against the walls as the principal walked up to the scene.  
"Johnny, let me go!", Taeyong hissed.   
"Calm down."  
"Youngho for fuck's sake, let me go!"  
Johnny was shocked to say at least. And a little scared. Never had the younger been so...explosive?  
As soon as Johnny let go, Taeyong dashed off.   
"Lee Taeyong! If I don't see you in my office in ten minutes you're suspended!", the principal roared after the angry teen. Johnny wanted to smirk at the surprised look Gikwang wore, because Johnny knew it wasn't caused by the principal. The captain was genuinely scared of his best friend. As he didn't want to be caught himself, he turned to take a look at Seulgi who was crying in Seungwan's shoulder. The principal seemed to notice too, sighing before softening his tone a little.   
"Kang Seulgi. Son Seungwan. Please follow me to my office. Seo Youngho, do me a favor of getting Lee Taeyong into my office.", he looked at his wrist watch. "Scratch ten, I'll give you fifteen minutes."  
"I'll do my best, Sir."  
He nodded as he started walking back from where he came from, Seungwan helping Seulgi out the best that she could.   
"Will you two be alright?", Johnny asked Seungwan. She sent him a small smile, stroking Seulgi's hair softly.   
"Go get Tae."

 

It didn't take him long to find the younger. He knew the other way too well not to know where he headed to when he needed to clear his head. As he opened the door to the school roof, he was greeted by the sight of the black hair he knew was softer than cotton, anxiously pacing. What irritated Johnny was the cigarette between the other's lips. Johnny walked up to him, grabbing the cigarette as the younger was about to bring it back to his mouth and threw it on the ground, stomping on it. The younger glared at him, but Johnny wouldn't let him win.   
"You said you quit."  
"I needed it."  
Johnny sighed and put his hands on the other's shoulders.   
"Talk to me."  
"I want to be alone."  
"No, you don't."  
Taeyong shrugged Johnny's hands off his shoulders and was about to walk away, when Johnny grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer again.   
"I'm not fucking around!"  
"Well neither am I! Just talk to me. Please, I beg of you."  
The younger looked everywhere but the face of the older.   
"He isn't worth being suspended over, okay? What would your parents think?"  
"I'm a disappointment whatever I do anyway, so why does it fucking matter?!"  
"Don't talk like that! All the fucking work you've put into all school subjects isn't worth getting suspended over just because you hit someone, okay? Just follow me back to the principal, and talk."  
"I don't want to talk to him, I have an own choice!"  
Johnny gripped the younger's face, pressing their foreheads together.   
"Please. Taeyong. Do it for Seulgi."  
At the mention of the girl, something flashed in Taeyong's eyes and he flicked his gaze down again.   
"She deserves some justice for this and so do you."  
Taeyong sighed and looked down.   
"Taeyong, look at me."  
"I don't want to."  
"Why?"  
Taeyong stayed quiet.   
"I just don't want to.", Taeyong whispered. "I don't want to see how you pity me over this."  
"It's not pity, I just don't want you to feel like you're alone in this."  
"Thank you.", he whispered, words barely getting out as they were too quiet and chocked up.   
"Don't you dare fucking cry now."  
Taeyong chuckled and brought his sleeve up to wipe his eyes carefully. Johnny sighed.  
"Where's your glasses again?"  
"I already told you I hate-"  
"You're cute with them. I don't see why you wouldn't wear them."  
"Stop saying that."  
"What?"  
"Stop calling me cute."  
Johnny smirked. "Why? Is it making you feel less manly?"  
Taeyong looked up, pupils narrowing. "What? Being gay is less manly?"  
"What? So I look less manly then?", Johnny questioned with a raised eyebrow. Taeyong's eyes widened.   
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Why didn't you tell me?", Johnny's response was.   
Taeyong sighed.   
"I came out to mom and Mark yesterday. Oh, and I told Seungwan over text."  
Taeyong looked at him. Johnny stared back and raised an eyebrow.  
"Are you going to continue? Or am I just going to guess how it went?"  
"It went great, they didn't understand why I was upset about it."  
Taeyong just nodded.   
"I'm glad.", he whispered.   
There was a short moment of silence between them.   
"You haven't told your parents yet?", Johnny whispered.   
Taeyong bit his lower lip. "I won't."  
Johnny frowned. "You can't hide it forever."  
"Watch me."  
"That's not healthy."  
Taeyong didn't answer and instead just wrapped his arms around the taller's neck, placing his head against his shoulder. Johnny's arms automatically went around the other's waist, pulling him close. They stood like that for what Johnny assumed was a minute before Taeyong breathed out softly, pulling the older even closer.   
"Don't let go yet."  
"I wasn't planning to.", Johnny answered. He let one arm down to pull out his phone to check the time. "Okay, I lied, we have to get going if you don't want to be suspended."  
Taeyong pulled away, not before squeezing Johnny's body tightly. Johnny hoped the other couldn't feel his beating heart.   
"Let's go."

 

"Thank heavens you're here.", the principal said as the two teens stepped inside. The office was empty of people except for the principal. "I was about to call it quits with you. Would be unfortunate with all extra effort you've put into school work. Have a seat. I have called the parental figure from your journal."  
Taeyong did as he was told.   
"Youngho, you too."  
He mirrored Taeyong's move.   
"I have talked to Seulgi and Seungwan. I have yet to talk to Gikwang, but according to Seulgi, Gikwang has been harassing her more than just today. Can you confirm this to be true?"  
"Yes. Nonstop for this week."  
"Did he physically attack her?"  
"No, just verbally."  
"I see. I'll do what I can about it."  
The principal shifted in his chair.   
"But I beg of you to report it the next time instead. I don't want to suspend one of the best students here, alright? I didn't allow you to read three advanced courses for you to be suspended. I don't want to ban you from the Show Night."  
Three? Show night? Johnny was beyond confused. Taeyong sensed it by the look on the older's face.   
"Yeah, I read advanced Maths and advanced History as well as dancing."  
Johnny's eyes widened.   
"How is that possible?"  
"Hard work. If you do well in all courses you read on school terms, I can make an exception and let you read other advanced ones."  
Johnny was officially worried for Taeyong's well-being.   
"I didn't know you allowed students to do that."  
"Only four students are."  
Four. Four students out of five hundred.   
"What's show night?"  
A knock on the door caused the three males to look at the door, where Taeyong's grandmother peeked in. Johnny suspected he wouldn't find out what the show night was.  
"Taeyong-ah? What is this I'm hearing about you beating other's up?", she didn't seem angry, she seemed concerned more so.   
"Mrs. Lee, take a seat. Youngho, if you excuse us."  
"Of course."  
While walking to the door, and past the old woman, he smiled at her. She smiled back with a short greeting. Soon after he left the office, he got a text from Taeyong. 

**From: Yongie**   
_dont wait when youre done_

**To: Yongie**   
_i assume youre not coming to class?_

**From: Yongie**  
_yeah gtg c u tmorrwo_

Johnny hoped Taeyong would be alright. 


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: I wanna apologize for the long long wait for this chapter, I have had a lot going on both in school and with me being me. Hopefully there will be another update before 9th of April, as I finally have Easter Break next week cx 
> 
> I might come back and change a little in this, most likely not, I think I have gotten this chapter sorted out. You see, this chapter has been almost done since late February but I've been hesitating if I wanted to post it and bring the fanfic in the direction I was going for in the start. I decided to do it, which is why this chapter is now published. In this chapter there are sort of some hints towards the sequel that I have already gotten started on. It will be a lot darker than this one, so I think I might make an alternative sequel but idk yet. 
> 
> Thank you all for being so patient, I hope this update is alright <3 Have a nice day everyone~

"Mom, sickest thing happened today."

"Did you confess?"

Johnny gave his mom a look, causing her to raise her hands in defense. 

"I found out something."

There was a moment of silence between the two. 

"Are you going to tell me or do I have to guess?"

"Oh, right. You know Taeyong?"

"Taeyong as in your best friend? Taeyong as in the guy you have non-platonic feelings for? Taeyong as in the guy who's basically my child? Nope, never heard of him before, sorry."

"Mom! Stop being sarcastic!"

"Don't ask such stupid questions then."

Johnny sighed and grabbed his hair. "You drive me crazy sometimes."

"My pleasure. What about Taeyong?"

"He got into a fight with the basketball team captain."

His mom looked shocked. "Taeyong got into a fight? Why are you so happy about that?"

"He defended Seulgi, who got called mean words, the guy literally called her lesbian for not wanting to sleep with them. And said she's dating Taeyong to hide her lesbianism."

"And that's funny? Johnny, that's not a happy matter."

"After that, Tae literally hit him in the face and went 'what if I am the one who is gay?'."

Johnny could literally see the wheels in his mother's head spinning.

"Wait...Taeyong is gay?"

Johnny nodded and tried not to smile. He felt his mother hold onto his face. 

"You know what this means, right? Your chances are even bigger!"

His smile fell. "Mom...I'm not going to jump him the moment he comes out. I just came out myself, that would be...weird."

"Don't be like that! Now that all guys know this, don't you think they'll do a lot to get him?"

He wished it wasn't true. 

"It doesn't matter actually. He hasn't told his parents, and said he won't ever do so either."

He could see the sadness flash across his mother's face. 

"He can't keep it a secret all his life."

"That's what I said. He didn't agree."

"Hug him extra from me."

 

It wasn't that he didn't expect it to happen, but rumors certainly spread fast at a high school. Walking down the hallway, he heard all types of comments from males and females. It was everything from 'I have no chance now!' to 'Do you think he would say yes if I asked?'. Johnny was happily surprised there were few hateful comments, in fact, the people he expected to make the worst comments said something along the lines of 'At least he will not steal my girlfriend'. It gave Johnny a good laugh.

As Johnny was putting his books in the locker, his locker was slammed shut. 

"We need to talk.", Yoonoh said. Johnny nodded and they walked off. 

"Gotta be quick, class starts in fifteen."

"Did you know?"

"Know what?" 

"Oh, for fuck's sake Johnny, don't play stupid with me, you know exactly what I'm-"

"No. I had no idea until yesterday."

Yoonoh's gaze softened. 

"Good, I don't need another liar around me."

It worried Johnny. The least thing he wanted was for the younger to be mad at Taeyong over coming out this way.

 

"Just making sure, I didn't ask about it earlier, but the rumors are true, right?", Yoonoh said. 

"Well duh. I wouldn't have answered otherwise."

"It was wrong of me just to assume they were, you know...before speaking to him."

"He told me he was going to hide it forever. Didn't want his parents to know."

When Johnny didn't get a reply, he looked up from his textbook and faced his friend who was looking gloomy.

"Yoonoh?"

"It bothers me sometimes. That some people are so trapped in their own sexuality they can't even tell their parents in fear of getting rejected. Even worse is the fact that a lot of parents would reject their children because of it. It shouldn't be like that. I wish everyone had parents as accepting as mine. I've heard dozens of stories where parents have been like 'no, but being straight is the best for you', like no. That's just what they say because they can't accept the fact that they are homophobic. Because they think homophobes are only people who kill and injure LGBTQ+ members physically. They don't even consider mentality. I have yet to meet someone in real life who isn't dead terrified of telling people around them they aren’t attracted to the opposite gender. I've only ever met those people on the Internet and I somehow find myself doubting their stories about not being scared. But I wouldn't know, I guess? I just...Goddammit, I can't take this."

During their seventeen years together, Johnny could count the amount of times he had seen Yoonoh cry on one hand. He did not expect it to happen in school this particular day. 

"Let's go to the bathroom."

Upon arriving there, Johnny made sure no one else was in there before leading Yoonoh in. 

"Should I call Doyoung?"

"I don't wanna talk to him right now. I just wish...I just wish Taeyong would've told me, you know."

"It's understandable. I can't expect so much of him, but telling you and Doyoung would be...I kind of wish it happened? I mean, you've been out since like forever."

Yoonoh laughed bitterly. "Yeah, it would be nice if he would've told us."

They stood in a silence that was not quite awkward but it wasn't comfortable either. 

"Are you ready to go back?" 

"Yeah, sure. Sorry, I was just thinking."

They made their way through the empty hallway when a poster caught their eyes.

 

' **Show Night**

- _ a night for all creative courses _

_ Come watch paintings, dance and speeches _

_ Read poems, peices of literature and analyzes of historical events _

_ Don't miss out _

**Friday 5pm-11pm** '

 

"Have you heard of this?"

"The principal said something about having to ban Taeyong if he does something like what he did yesterday again. But other than that I got no explanation."

"So that's what they've been dancing do hard for!"

"Must be."

"I think we should pay them a visit during lunch. They most likely won't show up now as this thing is tomorrow.”

"That would actually be fun! We totally should."

 

"Seungwan! Are you coming with us to the dance practice room?"

"What are you going to do there?"

"Visit Tae and Seulgi, obviously."

Seungwan stopped writing. "That actually doesn't sound that bad. How did it end with Tae yesterday?"

"Got him to go to the office but more than that I don't really know. He confirmed his sexuality and I confirmed mine but that was it. What about Seulgi?"

Seungwan shuffled on her feet. "You know...She's feeling better now."

"That's good!", Yoonoh said. "I have no idea what happened, but hey, as long as everyone's feeling good I can't complain!"

"Yoonoh?"

The smile disappeared in an instant from said man's face. 

"Dongyoung."

Dongyoung faced the ground and bit his lip before looking up to face his lover. 

"Can I talk to you?"

"I don't wanna talk to you."

Johnny looked at Seungwan who was as shocked as he was. Dongyoung and Yoonoh never fought.

"Tough luck. Then I'll just say it here and now."

Yoonoh just crossed his arms. "Go on then."

"I knew because he told me. He told me because I overheard his conversation with his grandmother. He told me to keep it a secret because he planned on never telling anyone and be miserable because his parents are fucking idiots. What more can I tell you?"

Through his explanation, Yoonoh's face changed a little, which he tried to hide by chewing on his lips. "Okay."

"Okay?"

There was a heavy tension between them, Dongyoung waiting for Yoonoh to say something to ease it. 

"Aren't you going to say something?", the desperation in Dongyoung's voice made Johnny nervous. If Yoonoh wanted to be stubborn, he would be and there was nothing you could do about it until he gave in himself. "Yoonoh, please. I beg of you. Just say something. I'm sorry, okay? I just couldn't spill his secrets!"

Yoonoh walked closer to his older boyfriend, same hard look in his eyes until he was right in front of him, where he grabbed the other's collar and pulled him in to smash their lips together. Dongyoung visibly relax and wrapped his arms around the other's neck while Yoonoh's arms sneaked around Dongyoung's waist. When they pulled away they embraced each other, Dongyoung looking ready to cry. 

"Don't do that again, you scared me.", he whispered and rubbed at his eyes. 

"No, baby, don't cry!", Yoonoh laughed and pulled away to face the other. He ran his thumb under his eyes to get rid of the tears on the verge of falling before hugging him again. "I didn't mean to make you feel so bad. Though I must say I admire your loyalty to Taeyong, that's really cute."

Dongyoung didn't answer, not being able to as he started sobbing. 

"Honey, hey. Look at me. It's okay.", he stroke the other's cheek. "We should talk later. We were thinking of visiting Tae and Seulgi, wanna come with us?"

Doyoung nodded, sobs getting fewer and fewer. Yoonoh kissed his forehead. "I won't leave. I'm not like her, okay?"

He nodded again and held onto his boyfriend tighter. 

"Let's dry those tears. They don't suit you, you should be smiling."

  
  


When they entered the studio, they were greeted by the sight of the two looked after people standing close enough to breath the same air. Both were dressed in their regular clothes, most likely due to them not having dance that day but practicing quickly during lunch. Both of their heads turned as soon as the door slammed shut. 

"Looks like we interrupted something?", Yoonoh said with a smirk. Taeyong facepalmed. 

"Yoonoh, I swear to fucki-"

He didn't get a chance to finish whatever curse he was about to set onto Yoonoh as the younger embraced him tightly. 

"You should've fucking told me, idiot."

"Sorry.", Taeyong whispered back as he exhaled. 

"It's fine. Got me into some shit, but you good boo. Though I can't help but want to have a talk about your thinking around it."

Taeyong frowned. "What?"

"He means you can't hide it forever.", Johnny said as he walked up to the two, Seungwan siding by Seulgi, arm flung around the dancer’s shoulders, to which Seulgi smiled at. Taeyong faced Johnny with an unreadable look. 

"I went for years without any of you knowing, didn't I? If I didn't out myself you still wouldn't know."

Johnny hated how true it was. 

"Yeah, but it's wrong to put yourself through that shit. People at this school will probably not be part of your life in the upcoming three years, but you family will. That's why it's important to just get it over with. Just tell them and-"

"That's very easy for you to say, isn't it? You have the most supportive parents, and you're an only child."

"Taeyong-ah, I have a brother too, I think you should try-"

"And your parents grew up in America, where being gay is less seen as a curse than it is here."

“Wait, what? You’re gay?”, Johnny turned to Dongyoung who was standing gaping at him. Johnny frowned. 

“I didn’t tell you?”

Then it hit Johnny, he only told Seungwan and Taeyong. He turned to Yoonoh, remembering their previous conversation about Johnny and Taeyong confirming their sexualities to each other. Yoonoh just shrugged, as if having read the other’s mind.

“I had my suspicion.” 

“Okay so yes, I am gay, but we can talk about that another time, because we have something more important to talk about.”

Johnny turned to Taeyong again. 

"I have chosen to keep it this way and that's how it will be."

"What if they find out without it being you to tell them?"

Taeyong chuckled. "Change name. Move away. What else is there to do?"

"Hyung, I don't think it gets worse than one parent leaving."

Dongyoung telling him had them all frozen. They were all aware Dongyoung's mom left after finding out he was attracted to males, but they never spoke about it. Taeyong looked at him and then at the ground. 

"Unless you're hiding something else."

They all faced the troubled teen. He didn't answer. 

"Taeyong?"

"It's nothing."

"Do...do your parents ever...you know...like...hit you?", Yoonoh asked after a few minutes of silence. 

"No!"

Johnny wanted to believe it, he really did. He somehow couldn't. 

"Class starts now.", Taeyong said and turned on his heels to get his stuff before looking at the three. 

"Are you coming or what?"

 

Johnny looked at his best friend. They had been given an assignment in Chemistry to write about one of the periodic elements, the teacher picking what element each student got. The whole assignment was about searching for what the given element was used for in day to day life and then would present it to the class. Johnny was thankful he got Helium, but he wasn’t sure what Taeyong felt about the one he got. 

“Boring element?”, he questioned, causing Taeyong to face him. He had been looking out of the window, obviously not looking at something specific judging by the hazy gaze he snapped out of when Johnny started talking.

“A little maybe.”

Johnny looked down at the paper in front of the younger, reading the only words he had written, being the element itself. 

“Mr. Lee? Can I talk to you?”

“Here?”

“Your choice.”

Taeyong took a quick look around, realizing the classroom was almost empty, as majority of the class went to the school library to ‘study’. He nodded, signaling the teacher to continue. 

“Did you get my mail?”

The younger nodded again.

“I hope it’s alright. I suppose you know what I want you to focus on as well.”

“I don’t think...I don’t think this book has what I’m looking for.”

The teacher gave a slight smile. “Write what you know.”

Johnny couldn’t help but feel as if he was part of a one-sided conversation. 

“Do I have to present it in front of the whole class?”    
The teacher inhaled before humming. “I think it would be good, but I can’t force you.”

Taeyong nodded, mumbling an okay. The teacher clapped his hands together. 

“Alright. I’ll leave you boys to work.”

  
  


After school he asked Taeyong to follow him home, but the younger had plans to go to the library. 

"Want me to follow?"

"You follow if you want to."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

As soon as they arrived, Taeyong headed over to a certain shelf. 

"Already know what you're looking for?"

"Pretty sure."

Johnny took a look at the other books on the shelf in front of him. It was just a bunch of medical fact-based books, the kinds Johnny never found himself reading. When looking beside the book Taeyong just grabbed, he found it was centered around mental health. He looked at the younger male as he skimmed through the pages. 

"You do seem pretty sure. Why did teacher mail you about it? From what I know he didn’t send a mail to anyone else."

Taeyong looked up. "He mailed me earlier this week about the upcoming project to prepare me, I guess? He said it's very important to get this one right and wanted the right person to do it."

Johnny nodded slowly. He wasn’t entirely sure what was going on but he accepted it, assuming Taeyong would explain if he wanted to. Wanting to get the element correctly was understandable, and sure, Taeyong was one of the best students in the school so the teacher could trust said male to do a good job. Johnny just didn’t understand why that element of them all was so important.

"Well, these books were bad, so that was some wasted time."

"They didn't have what you were looking for."

"Nope."

"Got any other plans Einstein?"

"I'll just have to google I guess. Could possibly visit some places, but I think Google will do fine."

"Wanna try that at my place?"

"Sure."


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: I am unsure whether the next chapter will be the last or if there will be two. But there will be a sequel, I have already written some stuff for it cx

“I just have to pick up my computer at home, I didn’t bring it to school.”

“That’s fine, I haven’t been to your house for a while anyway.”

“Not like you’re missing out on something.”

Johnny flung his arm around the smaller’s shoulders. “Move to my house.”

Taeyong shot him a look, to which Johnny withdrew his arms and raised his hands in defence.

“I’m actually serious. Just don’t let my dad see you and everything would be fine!”

“Does that mean I should be happy not to meet him?”

Johnny nodded and sighed. “I’d prefer if you don’t. You’re worth way too much to meet someone like him.”

“That’s sweet.”, Taeyong whispered, small smile grazing his lips. Johnny couldn’t stop himself from smiling either, as they walked on to the younger’s house in a comfortable silence.

  


Taeyong let Johnny enter first, before closing the door behind them, both taking off their shoes.

”Hello?”, a deep voice asked from another room, Johnny was certain it was the living room.

”It’s me.”

”You’re early.”

Johnny raised an eyebrow. What kind of welcome is that?

”Shouldn’t you be studying at the library?”

The way the voice said it wasn’t even uttered as a question, it sounded more like a statement.

”I’m going, I just need my computer.”

”Oh, okay. Good.”

Johnny followed Taeyong into his neat bedroom.

”How can you live in here?”

”What do you mean?”

”I don’t dare to touch anything.”

Taeyong tilted his head slightly to the side in question.

”It’s so...clean.”

All received was an eye roll.

“Okay, I’m ready to leave.”

Johnny had never really been inside of Taeyong’s house before, they would mostly be outside or sometimes at Johnny’s house. Johnny recalled having been in the building his best friend lived in a total of four times, but he wasn’t sure. Something like that. Something that caught him off guard this particular visit was how cold it was. It wasn’t cold as in temperature wise, but it was still cold nonetheless. As if lacking the warmth that made a house a home. The warmth he got entering his own house and being greeted by Mark and his mom.

As they were putting on shoes again, a silhouette littered over the floor, causing the teens to look up. Johnny rose to his feet to bow to his elder, who followed his every move. To Johnny’s surprise, his best friend’s father was taller than himself, which was rare.

”Who are you?”

”I-I’m Johnny.”

”Oh. You. The midnight guy.”

So his own parents weren’t the only people aware of that.

”Y-yeah.”

”I shouldn’t bother your study time. For how long will you be gone?”

Taeyong took a look at his phone before answering, ”I’ll be home before nine.”

His father nodded. ”Just don’t forget about the time.”

”I won’t.”

Johnny thought he could see a slight smile on the older man’s face for a second but as it was gone as soon as he saw it, he doubted it actually happened.

”Study hard then.”

  


“You brought Taeyong over again!”, his mother exclaimed in glee, as the two teens entered the Seo’s kitchen. Johnny rolling his eyes at his mother’s antics.

“Johnny brought a friend?”

Johnny froze as he heard his father’s voice behind him. There, entering the kitchen, was said man, standing by his mother.

“Seo Hyunsik.”, he said and reached to shake Taeyong’s hand.

“Lee Taeyong.”, the younger answered.

Johnny wished they could walk off now, but his father didn’t let go of the younger’s hand.

“So this is Taeyong.”

The teen looked questioned.

“I’ve heard about you a lot. Mark really adores you.”

Taeyong pulled his hand back and rubbed his neck nervously. “Sorry, I suppose.”

“No dear, don’t apologize!”, Johnny’s mother told him.

“We’re going to study.”, Johnny interrupted the situation, grabbing onto Taeyong’s hand to pull him to his room.

“Yeah, because your study sessions in the middle of the night don’t contain much homework, do they?”

Johnny froze. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.”

Johnny caught his mother’s gaze, her eyes filled with shock. Johnny shook his head and turned to walk again, dragging Taeyong forward to have him in front instead while leading him with a hand on the small of Taeyong’s back.

”Sorry about him.”, Johnny muttered in embarrassment. He shouldn’t have commented on his dad earlier, of course this happened because he said he didn’t want Taeyong to meet the other. Typical.

Once they entered the room, Johnny made sure to lock the door. He ran a hand through his hair, letting his hand wander back until it reached his neck, where he scratched slightly.

”Don’t apologize. I could say the same.”

”Your dad is terrifying to be honest.”

Taeyong let out a breathy laugh.

”Because yours isn’t?”

Johnny smiled softly. ”He’s homophobic, I’m sure. So I haven’t told him.”

Taeyong nodded slowly in understandment.

”I’m sorry.”

Johnny shook his head. ”Don’t say that. Let’s get to work!”

  


Johnny glanced at the clock, staring at it for almost half a minute before figuring out what it said. His brain felt melted, thinking becoming difficult when everything had to make sense.

”I’m done for.”, he told the other, who was reading something of his screen, black frames embracing the beautiful eyes as the other looked up.

”Take a break then.”

”Only if you also do.”

”I have to get this done.”

Johnny crawled over to see what he was writing and reading.

”Ugh, chemistry. Then you can take a break, it’s supposed to be in in two weeks.”

”Just-”

Johnny shut the computer screen, moving it from Taeyong’s lap.

”We can take a break.”

Johnny laid down on the floor, looking up at the other with puppy eyes.

”Pretty please”

Rolling his eyes, Taeyong laid down beside him, head falling onto Johnny’s bicep. Johnny lifted his lower arm to place his hand on the younger’s head, hand carding through soft black locks.

“Do you think Seungwan and Seulgi are dating?”, Johnny asked.

“No idea to be honest. Strange to say maybe, but I sort of wish they got closer. Best friends or something if anything.”

“Agreed. They compliment each other well.”

“Sseul deserves someone who will care. So does Seungwan.”

“But hey, what about me?”

Taeyong looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Feeling lonely?”

“Very much so.”

Johnny hugged the other closer.

“I sort of would like to be like Yoonoh.”, Taeyong whispered.

“What? Why?”

“He’s got everything.”

“I’m glad you’re not Yoonoh.”

Taeyong rolled his eyes for the nth time that night.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure you are. It’s not like I’d ever want another Doyoung either. One is more than enough.”

Johnny let out a laugh.

“I like you being you. That’s why. I don’t care if you aren’t on the basketball team, or if you have scary parents. Just you, you know?”

“Thank you.”, the other whispered, barely audible before they both fell silent. Several minutes went by with the two of them just enjoying each other’s company. Johnny would continuously massage the other’s scalp while Taeyong would run his hand along Johnny’s side, sending shivers down Johnny’s body.

“Taeyong?”

“Mhm?”

“I’m really thankful to have you in my life.”

“Where did that come from?”

Johnny chuckled. “Just been thinking a lot lately, that’s all.”

“I’m really thankful to have you too, Johnny. Honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Come here.”, Johnny whispered while pulling the other closer, a request Taeyong did not as much as dream of turning down. Taeyong’s head ended up on his chest, the younger wrapping his arm around Johnny’s waist, legs ending up tangled.

“This is quite strange, isn’t it?”, Taeyong asked out loud, probably meant for himself to hear only.

“What is?”

“Cuddling your best friend on the floor in the middle of a room.”

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with cuddling with your best friend!”

“On the floor?”

“Nope.”

“When you’re supposed to do homework?”

“Especially not then. Isn’t this so much better?”

Taeyong laughed softly. “Of course it is.”

All of a sudden, Taeyong sat up, hands going up to his face to remove the glasses.

“No, don’t take them off!”

“I’m going to break them if I lie on them.”

“Oh, okay. Fair enough.”

Taeyong didn’t come back down, much to Johnny’s dismay.

“Boy, get down here.”

“Why don’t you come up here?”

“Are you challenging me?”

“Do you think I’m challenging you?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Then maybe that’s what I’m doing.”

“I won’t give in. You come down here.”

“Make me.”

Johnny reached forward to pull the other’s arm, startling the younger who fell forward, hands framing Johnny’s face. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Taeyong attempted to sit up again.

“No, stay down here with me.”

“Join me up here.”

Taeyong broke free from Johnny’s grasp, but leaned forward to grab the wrist and started to pull him up. Johnny let it happen, ready to let his plan get into action. As soon as he was the same level as the younger, he grabbed onto his arms and pushed him onto the floor, caging the smaller between his arms.

“Not fair! You cheated!”

“Call me cheater all you want. I still won.”

“No, did not!”

“Oh, I did.”

Johnny leaned down to bite the other’s earlobe.

“Feeling defeated?”

Taeyong hit his shoulder slightly, causing Johnny to lean back and look down on the younger.

“I can’t believe you did that.”

“Believe it.”

For a few seconds they both just stared at each other. Johnny took his time to study the other’s face carefully. He started at the nose. The sharp, high nose that was just the right size to fit into the face perfectly. Then the smooth skin across the soft cheekbones. Moving on, he went to the sharp jawline, a jaw so sharp it could probably cut paper perfectly. Then his gaze lifted slightly, eyeing the not-thin-not-full-but-perfectly-well-shaped lips, Johnny catching himself liking his own as he took a careful look at the softly curved cupid’s bow. He ended with the eyes, staring deeply into the beautiful brown orbs belonging to the guy underneath him. Before he could stop himself, he started leaning down. He leaned on his elbows, hands moving up to hold the other’s face. He let his thumb run over the scar on the side of Taeyong’s right eye. Leaning down further, Johnny stopped as soon as their noses touched. He looked Taeyong straight in the eye before carefully asking.

“Can I kiss you?”

The arms wrapping around his neck gave him the confirmation he was looking for and he let his lips ghost over the other’s. Soon enough their lips were molded together. They let it stay as a liplock for a few seconds before daring to move at all. It started out slow but eventually speeded up, the only sound in the room being lips smacking.

They didn’t pull back abruptly. They let it go slow and careful, pulling back enough to lean their foreheads together.

“I...I really like you.”, Johnny spoke up. Taeyong smiled softly, eyes warm with emotion.

“I really like you too, if you didn’t notice.”

They were about to lean in to connect their lips again, when EXO’s The Eve blasted through the room. Taeyong stumbled to his knees and dug into his bag after his phone, picking it up swiftly.

“Hello?”, Johnny watched all expressions flashing across the younger’s face. “Oh, right. I'll be home soon."

“Who was it?”

“Dad.”

Johnny took a look at the clock. “I’m guessing you have to leave? Would you like me to bring you to your house?”

“Take me home, Romeo.”

After gathering all things thrown all over the floor, Johnny grabbed Taeyong’s hand, leading him to the front door.

“Are you leaving?”, Johnny’s mother came into view for them both.

“Yeah, it’s late.”, Johnny replied, throwing the woman a small, but genuine smile.

“Take it easy out there!”, she called after them as they left.

When a block away from Johnny’s house, he grabbed onto Taeyong’s hand, intertwining their fingers. They walked in silence, no words needed in that moment.

Once they reached the front porch of the younger’s house, he turned around and hugged onto the taller’s waist, the taller’s arms wrapping around the smaller frame.

“See you tomorrow.”, Johnny whispered. When pulling back, he pressed a kiss between Taeyong’s brows and stroke his cheekbones.

“See you tomorrow.”, the younger whispered back before moving to walk into his house, Johnny leaving the Lee’s ground with a doopy smile on his lips.

  


As soon as he walked into his own house, he headed for the living room where he heard voices speaking.

“Hello?”, he greeted his parents. “Where’s Mark?”

“He’s in his room.”

Johnny nodded and was about to walk there to tell his younger brother good night, when his father called his name.

“I don’t like you hanging out with that boy.”

“Hyunsik! We talked about this!”

“I just want the best for our son, and that is not to be around someone like that.”

“Someone like what?”

Johnny surprised himself with the hostile tone his voice came out in.

“Have you seen the way he looks at you?”, his father spat out. “It’s disgusting. He’s rubbing off on you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Boys, calm down, let’s talk this out calmly.”

“Honey, I’m trying to save the boy’s future.”

“By telling me not to hang out with my best friend, whom you’ve met once?”

“Hanging out with gay people will rub off on you, and you’re not gay.”

Johnny could feel his chest heave with anger.

“That’s not something you decide.”

“Maybe, maybe not. Being around it is not healthy whatsoever. Look, I have several colleagues with beautiful daughters you can get to meet.”

“No thanks."

"I want you to meet at least two of them."

"Won't happen."

His father looked taken aback. "Why do you keep talking back to me? Where's the respect?"

"Exactly where your respect for me will be when I've told you I'm gay and in love with Taeyong."


	6. 6

Johnny wanted to say he regretted telling his father this way, in absolute fury, over how said man spoke of the guy he was in love with, but he was happy the information was out. He could tell his father did not feel the same way. 

“You’re what?”

The way the question was put out was the scariest part. The older man seemed more shocked rather than angry. 

“I-I am gay. I am in love with Taeyong. And...And I’m happy with that.”

“John, you’re delusional.”

All hope Johnny had about his father understanding got thrown out of the window in an instant. 

“As soon as you meet the right girl you won’t think like this. It’s because you haven’t met enough people yet.”

“No, dad, really-”

“Enough. No more tonight. You’re obviously too tired to think.”

With that said, his father left the room.

“Honey, I’m so sorry.”

His mother placed her hands on his shoulders. 

“It’s not like it’s your fault.”, Johnny muttered. “Just please tell me...You wouldn’t mind me dating Tae?”

His mother smiled brightly. “Please, at this point I’m the president of your fanclub. How did the study session go?”

Johnny damned himself for not keeping it together, but he couldn’t blame himself for smiling as big as he was at the mention of his study session with Taeyong. 

“Well...Good, I’d say.”

His mom didn’t respond, causing him to look up from the ground he had been smiling at. 

“Are you gonna leave me hanging?”

“Things just kind of went the way they did.”

“Which means?”

“That remains to be seen.”

  
  


The next day he found Taeyong by his locker, with Dongyoung hanging on his shoulders. 

“Pleeeeaase, ask your teacher to change the time! I tried asking mine and she started snapping at me.”

“I’ll try but I can’t promise anything.”

“Ask what?”

Both of the conversing men jumped, clearly startled by Johnny’s sudden appearance.

“You idiot! I almost died!”, Taeyong exclaimed, hitting Johnny’s chest softly, letting his hand linger where it hit for a second more than it usually would , before letting it down his side again. 

“Yeah, Johnny-boy, you gotta learn how to make an entry properly!” 

“I think it was pretty good?”, Johnny raised his hands in defence. “So, what about asking what?”

“Their dance performance tonight is at the same time my teacher wants the art students to gather. As artists, we have to be in the classroom between 5 and 7, their dance starts at 7. And I don’t want to miss a second.”

“I can try. But I can’t say it’ll work.”

“Thanks Tommy, you’re the best!”, Dongyoung threw himself around the shorters neck. 

“Don’t push your boundaries.”

“You’ll always be the Tom to my Jerry though and nothing will ever change that.”

“Does this mean you two will skip class later?”

“I don’t think Doyoungie can, but I must.”, Taeyong sent him a smirk.

“Fun for you.”, Dongyoung glared back. 

“You know I love you.”

“Sure you do. Well, see you guys later, I’ll be late if I don’t leave now.”

“We should get ready too, don’t you think?”

After a few seconds of hesitation, Johnny grabbed Taeyong’s hand loosely, waiting for confirmation. As soon as the shorter smiled softly, grabbed onto Johnny’s hand and started walking, Johnny dared to tighten his grip. Moments like these, he wished he would’ve picked dance as a course. As soon as they arrived in the hallway they would have to go different ways in, Johnny felt his mood damped. First now he understood what the main characters of every typical love story were all about, suddenly they weren’t as overly dramatic. He really didn’t want to leave the other, and they weren’t even officially dating yet. 

“Will you be here tonight?”

“Guess three times.”

Taeyong shoved him playfully, making sure to pull him back as quick. 

“I suppose I won’t see you until tonight then?”

Taeyong nodded. “Yeah.”

Johnny pulled the other into his arms for a short hug, as time was ticking. 

“I’ll see you then, I guess?”

“Bye for now.”

Johnny decided to go for it. He leaned in to lightly peck the other’s lips. It might have been too much, but as Taeyong didn’t pull back at all, quite the contrary, Johnny assumed he wasn’t moving too quickly for the other. 

“Bye.”

  
  


“So how are things with Taeyong?”

Johnny sighed, turning to Seungwan. The topic brought the attention of Yoonoh to them, which didn’t come as a surprise, as his two friends always showed more interest in his love life than he could bring himself to do. 

“I don’t know Seungwan, how are things between you and Seulgi?”

The woman turned a fitting scarlet red in an instant, not as visible as Johnny’s, due to her faint layer of blush. 

“So, Yoonoh, how are things with Doyoung?”, Seungwan shot a look at Yoonoh, who laughed in return. 

“Don’t you guys try! We’re stable. Now, about I’d like to know how it’s going between you guys.”

“Oh, me and Seungwan? We’re better than ever!”

Yoonoh glared at Johnny. “That’s not funny, John.”

“Sucks to be you then, Jeffrey.”, Wendy responded with a minor hair flip, turning back to her book.

“No matter how avoidant you’re both being right now, I hope it works out well for you both.”

This caused both of the blushing teens to look up at the currently only one in a relationship. They all smiled at each other.

“Same for you and Doyoung. I’ll always be your number one supporter, you know?”

“Hey, me too. Except for during lunch, because that’s disgusting.”, Seungwan pointed out. 

“Yes! Thank heavens I’m not the only one thinking that!”

“Can you not?”, Yoonoh groaned. 

They all went back to their books. 

“I kissed Taeyong yesterday.”

The looks on the other two’s faces were priceless and Johnny cursed himself for not picking up his phone to record their reaction. 

“And? What happened after that?”

“I just followed him home.”

“Are you kidding? What an anti-climax!”

Johnny leaned back in his chair. “What did you expect to happen?”

“Doyoung and I slept together before we decided to start a relationship.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he slammed a hand over it. Seungwan’s eyes were wide, a smile slowly spreading on her lips-

“I can finally blackmail you with something!”

Yoonoh groaned, slamming his head down on the table. “Forget I said anything.”

“That was too good to forget.”, Johnny exclaimed. 

“Anyways”, Yoonoh outspoke the two. “Something must’ve happened? Doyoung already said you two kept giving each other the heart eyes earlier.”

“What a-”

“Think of who you’re about to insult, John.”

“-lovely friend he is.”

Yoonoh sent him a dimple smile. “That’s right.”

“I need some juicy details now.”

“Wendy, calm down. No need to be so urgent, this class is for another hour.”

“You think teacher would allow us to actually speak of Johnny’s lovelife for such a long time?”

“You think the absent teacher would mind? He’s probably keeping track of the studying students in the library. Or in the teacher’s room chatting up the Art teacher. I swear, there is something going on between them.”

“More than I need to know of, thank you very much.”, Johnny rolled his eyes. “Just ask whatever you want and I’ll answer whatever I want. Sounds okay?”

“So where is Taeyong’s sensitive place? I’m guessing behind the right ear.”

“No, Jeff, I think it’s behind the left!”

“I’m not even going to answer that.”

“But you already kind of answered-”

“I told you we didn’t go any further than kissing.”

“What body part do you like the most?”

Johnny was about to glare at the female but was faced with sincere eyes. 

“His eyes.”

The warmth in his friends’ eyes were enough to make him forget all stupid questions they always threw at him. The only thing they wanted for him at the end of the day, was for him to be happy after all. They just sucked at showing it.

“Are you guys coming to the performance later? I mean...Seulgi will be there.”

Seungwan pushed Johnny lightheartedly. 

“You never answered how things are between you two.”

“We might have gone a little further than you two.”

“Oooooh! Johnny, how are you ever gonna top that?”

“I don’t think I can yet. Just you wait.”

  
  


“Do you know if Tae’s parents are coming tonight?”, Seungwan asked as they sat down at their usual table. 

“No, why?”

“Seulgi said this is her chance to show her parents what she enjoys doing the most. If they aren’t satisfied with her performance tonight, she won’t get to continue.”

“What? That’s insane!”, Dongyoung spoke from the other side of the table, where he was more or less seated on his boyfriend.

“But I believe in her. She can do it.”

The way she spoke, without sounding as if convincing herself, made Johnny proud of the woman. He wished he could feel the same with Taeyong regarding his parents but that was nothing he could do. 

“Have you told your parents about...your relation to Seulgi?”, Yoonoh questioned the only girl.

Wendy smiled. “They don’t care who I’m with as long as it’s someone who brings out the best in me.”

“And her parents?”

“From what I understood by her explanation, they don’t care about her sexual orientation either, as long as she works hard academically. Not sure to be honest. I’ll meet them tonight.”

“We won’t be far away if you need us.”

“Thank you guys. I have not once regretted befriending you.”, Johnny was about to tell her how he felt the same when she started speaking again. “Except for during first year when you”, she pointed towards Yoonoh. “got me into my first ever detention. My parents remind me of that every single day.”

Yoonoh placed his hand over his heart, gasping. “How dare you put that on me?”

“It was your fault, and you know it.”

“That should be the best memory you have, that’s the moment you met both Doyoung and Taeyong.”

Her facial expression changed immediately. “I hate when you’re right.”

“Sucks to be friends with a genius then.”

“Don’t think too highly of yourself now, Einstein.”, Doyoung poked his cheek. Yoonoh bit his finger.

“I already have you to do that for me.”

His older boyfriend didn’t comment on it, but kissed his cheek as some sort of reassurance he wasn’t that far off. 

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“God, you two are too...lovey-dovey.”

“As if you and Tae won’t be as soon as you’re together tonight.”

“My parents are actually coming. Or no, my mom and Mark are coming.”

“To see the dance performance?”

“No, Jeffrey, to read my English essay. Yes, to see the performance!”

“Go ahead and show them the essay. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind seeing how great their son works!”

Johnny tried to glare at him but ended up smiling instead, which Yoonoh didn’t turn down.

“By the way, Doyoung, did they manage to change the time?”, Johnny asked the artist of the group. 

“Apparently they were set to let people in at 7, but the whole show thing started at 7:15, so it wasn’t really a problem!”

“Great, then we’ll head there together!”, Seungwan said, clapping her hands. “I have actually been very interested to see what you do in Art class!”

“What happened to this table? Is it some love-spreading week? Last time I recalled this was the sarcastic table where everyone was fighting for the sassiest comeback.”

“Would you change it, Doyoungie?”

He shook his head, letting a frown place between his brows. “Nope, but I’d love to add somethings to it. Like Seulgi and Taeyong.”

“Couldn’t agree more, I can’t imagine Johnny and I having to sit here with you two for the rest of the year.”, Seungwan rolled her eyes to him.

“And we’re back to normal.”

  
  


Here’s the thing - Johnny knew Taeyong was a fantastic dancer, he didn’t need anyone else to tell him that. But the change within half a year was incredible. He wasn’t sure for how long Seulgi had been dancing, but looking at her he would’ve guessed all her life. Surprising all friends were that their two friends had a solo stage together, more so a duo stage in that case, but it was no wonder when looking at the chemistry they had built up during their dance classes, especially two weeks before this day. Johnny felt a thug at his heart, proudness seemingly trying to spread from his heart through his whole body for his two friends, both of who seem to have had to face struggles as of lately. 

Needless to say, the performance of the dance team as a whole, was spectacular. It made Johnny feel as if he hadn’t done anything this whole time, only to be reminded of all essays he has done, all oral presentations he held, all group projects he ended up doing alone because some classmates had given up half-way through. He reminded himself that just because he couldn’t prove his work through an artistic presentation the way half the squad had done, didn’t mean he didn’t work hard. They had all worked hard, and they all deserved to be where they were. Even the classmates who had given up. To say someone didn’t deserve it would be offending to anyone, really. 

“This makes me wish I picked dance.”, Yoonoh told the three he attended the performance with. “It looked like so much fun.”

“Can’t you read English at home?”, Seungwan asked him. “I mean...obviously it would be more boring for Johnny and I without you, but I don’t think it’s right for us to hold you back.”

Yoonoh didn’t respond but thought about it for a while. 

“Don’t they have auditions though?”, he decided to go with.

“As if you wouldn’t nail that.”, Dongyoung rolled his eyes. 

“I know you’re my boyfriend and want to support me with all I do but-”

“-but you’re an amazing dancer, and if you think I haven’t noticed how you dance when you think no one’s watching, you’re wrong.”

“I’m not sure how to respond, but thanks?”

“You’re welcome, hon.”, Dongyoung responded, pinching the other’s cheek.

“Do you think we can meet Seul and Tae yet?”, Seungwan asked openly.

“We can check?”

They walked to the stage in the auditorium, looking for the teacher, and found him in front of the stairs leading up to the stage from the front, answering some random people’s questions. 

“Excuse me, Mr. Jung. Can we be allowed backstage?”, Seungwan hesitatingly asked him. 

“The door is open!”

“That was surprisingly easy. I had already been thinking up a whole goddamn plan to sneak us in.”, Dongyoung complained. 

“Always so thoughtful.”, Johnny told him, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

“I know right! And somehow all my ideas always go to waste.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t worry about that. You seem to never stop thinking.”, Yoonoh flung his arm around the older’s waist. “You should take a break every now and then.”

“I don’t think my brain is that overworked.”

“Not yet anyways.”

“Do you think it’s this way?”, Seungwan looked for answers in the others, all as clueless.

“Can’t you text and ask?”

“Where is the excitement in that?”

“You could either do that, or ask one of the guys wearing the exact same clothes as Tae did?”, Yoonoh suggested. 

“Wow. Should’ve thought about that before.”

Finding out where the other two were turned out to be way easier than they made it seem, as soon as they turned a corner a few meters down the hallway they walked through, they found the pair with another one of the dance teachers. Or, Johnny wasn’t sure if it was actually a teacher or just a helper, but he was talking to the two anyways. 

“So, I know I’ve called you in early in the mornings already, but if you could come an hour earlier on Monday, it would be great.”

Taeyong and Seulgi looked at each other before nodding. 

“Great! See you then. Fantastic work today, I’m proud of you two.”

As soon as the teacher-guy walked off, they felt safe enough to approach their friends. 

“Here you are.”

“How could you come back here?”, Seulgi asked, clearly not bothered by their presence. 

“Special treatment. Told the guards we were waiting for Johnny’s boyfriend and Seungwan’s girlfriend. Yoonoh and I just got in because I am so charming and irresistible, they couldn’t imagine not letting me in.”

“Sounds legit.”, Taeyong commented with an eye roll. 

“Fuck, you guys are unbelievable!”, Seungwan shoved her way past her male friends, embracing both of the dancers tightly.

“Group hug!”, Johnny yelled and the other three decided it was appropriate to join. When pulling away, Johnny made sure to end up with the guy he had yet to label things with, letting his hand rest on his lower back.

“Do you think your parents are satisfied? If they aren’t, I’m not sure what will ever make them happy!”, Johnny told Seulgi, who seemed unused to all praise. 

“I-I...I hope so. Or else I dragged everyone into this in vain.”

“No, don’t say that! No one would think that!”, Taeyong told her, Johnny noticing their intertwined hands first now, as the male squeezed her hands to show support. 

“I wasted so much of your time if they don’t find it good enough.”

“Of course not.”

“I feel like I’m missing out on something right now.”, Yoonoh said, to which the hand-holding duo turned his way.

“I only got a solo stage because I told my dance teacher the situation I had. I assume Seungwan or Taeyong told you already, or else you wouldn’t really know, but tonight was like a test for my parents to judge whether I can continue or not.”

“What does that have to do with Yong?”

“Because I asked him to be my dance partner.”

“You weren’t set up?”

Both of them shook their heads. 

“I was asked if I wanted to do it alone but I didn’t, so teacher Jung told me to choose someone to do it with. And I picked Taeyong.”

“And you didn’t know each other before?”

“Not apart from being in the same class.”

“That’s brave.”

“So what will happen now?”, Dongyoung asked. “I mean, some of us obviously have some things to talk about.”

Johnny sent him a look, which Dongyoung reacted back with, being the reaction king and all. It made him sort of look like an angry bunny. It was cute. 

“I must find my parents.”, Seulgi told them, walking up to Seungwan, grabbing her hand and dragging her along the way the four friends came from. “And I think I need to borrow her for a while.”

“And then they were four.”, Yoonoh said. “I assume it’s not more than fair to leave you two to talk. Not gonna lie, I’ve been waiting for this for such a long time. If one of you fuck up now, I’m gonna hunt you down. And I always find what I’m looking for. See you guys later~!”

“And then they were two.”, Johnny said, awkwardly rubbing his neck. He came into this all confident and ready to face his feelings with no turning back, but suddenly he felt afraid. He couldn’t put his finger on what made him afraid, it could be the fear of rejection but it could also be...general fear of never being able to return to what they used to be. The problem was that it was already too late for the last thing. 

“So…”, Taeyong started. 

“So…”, Johnny mimicked. 

“I-”   
“I-”

“You first-”   
“You first-”

The fact that they started speaking at the same time turned out to be an ice-breaker. 

“I just...I just don’t want to mess anything up.”, Johnny told the other. 

“You won’t. Please, if anyone will mess it up, it will be me.”

“Oh, as if that could ever happen.”

“This sounds mental, but...I’ve kind of thought about...you know...us kind of...dating? for a while...And I sort of hoped you wouldn’t feel the same because I will fuck things up.”

Johnny was unused to Taeyong being so...raw. He had always been honest, whether it’d be telling someone his thoughts nicely or emotionlessly. Never out to hurt anyone, he always seemed to have a filter on, a filter he could let go of around his friends but not strangers. But this was something else. There had to be something Johnny was unaware of. 

“You can’t be so sure of that.”

The look in the other’s eyes was almost painful to see. He seemed more than sure he would mess everything up if they went out together.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Johnny sent him a warm smile, stepping closer. He might not know what caused the roller coaster escalation in the younger’s moods, but he surely would let the other know they would be okay. They would be. 

“Don’t get ahead of time now. Let’s start here. This is where we are now, we cannot start somewhere else.”

“When did you get so good with words?”, the choked out words caused Johnny to take it upon himself to pull the other closer. 

“I’m secretly taking poetry.”

Taeyong hit him weekly, letting his hand land on Johnny’s arm, fingers grazing the triceps softly. 

“Thank you.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Do you even have to ask at this point?”

As soon as their lips were about to touch, they were interrupted by a shrill voice, a voice as familiar as it was foreign ringing in their ears. 

“Lee Taeyong! How can you lie to your own family?”

Johnny saw Taeyong’s body go rigid, and as Johnny turned around to face the way the voice came from, he understood why.

There, in front of them, stood one Lee Taeyong’s family, mother looking read to skin her son alive, father carrying a slightly friendlier expression with just a frown, and brother refusing eye contact with his younger brother. 

“I thought I made it perfectly clear dancing wasn’t a choice. We have some talking to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: hi sorry for the long wait! next update is not a month away, just saying c:
> 
> also i decided just to continue here instead of posting everything i planned for the sequel in a new one, so this will have more chapters than this one! HOWEVER, i will try not to make several short chapters but some of them might have to be 1500 only because i want to stop them where i do. 
> 
> I AM GOING TO CHANGE THE TAGS SO READ THEM BEFORE MOVING ON AFTER THIS.


	7. 7

Johnny waited anxiously for a text from his crush, giving him some sort of hint he was okay. He was a little disappointed the other hadn’t told him he wasn’t allowed to dance, he couldn’t see why the younger would hide it.

“Didn’t he give you any type of subtle hint as to why he didn’t tell you?”, his mother asked as she placed a cup of tea in front of him.

“No. Currently just secret after secret keeps coming out and I’m not quite sure how to handle it. It’s like he’s not trusting me enough to talk to me.”

“I’m sure that’s not it, honey. Maybe he’s not just used to talking about his feelings. His relationship with his parents doesn’t appear to be as bright as it should be.”

“I know he’s not close to his parents, at least not from what I’ve noticed, but still. I thought I made it perfectly clear he can tell me everything, yet he tells me nothing.”

“Maybe you should try to tell him what you just told me? Why do you want him to tell you his problems?”

“Because I don’t want him to be all alone.”

“Why don’t you want him to be alone?”

“Because I love him.”

“Then there you have it. Two words, Johnny - tell him.”

“You’re the best, mom.”

“So I’ve been told.”

 

He didn’t receive any text, and when the clock hit eleven at night, Johnny grew worried. That’s when he decided to call. Throwing himself on his bed, he went to the phone dial, knowing the number he was going for by heart already, and waited for an answer. No one picked up. As he was about to try again, Taeyong’s contact name appeared on his screen. Suddenly Johnny felt nervous. What if something happened? Why didn’t he pick up, but could call straight after? Swiping his thumb right, he brought the phone up to his ear.

“TY?”

“Johnny, hi!”

“How are you?”

A sigh from the other side. “They were mad.”

“Did they hurt you?”

“No.”

Johnny gulped. The answer came way too quickly to be true.

“Are you...okay?”

“Well, John, I’m alive. Obviously nothing too bad happened.”

“Nothing too bad?”

“Anyways, how are you?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

Silence. Johnny was about to see if the other had hung up on him when Taeyong spoke again.

“Can we meet up?”

Glancing at the clock, Johnny grimaced over the difficulty he would face trying to leave the house.

“Sure. Skatepark in 15.”

Walking over to his closet, he grabbed a hoodie and a pair of worn jeans, throwing them on quickly. When he opened his bedroom door, he took notice of how dark the house was, most likely being due to his family having gone to sleep already. Tip-toeing his way down the hallway, he found himself about to tie his shoes when someone interrupted him.

“Where are you going?”

Looking up at his younger brother, he hushed quietly. He finished tying his shoes before standing up, hovering above Mark.

“I’m going to meet Tae, tell mom and dad and you’re dead.”

“Chill out, I wasn’t going to tell. Just make sure you’re home before dad leaves for work.”

“I’ll be home way earlier than that.”

“Oh, and Johnny?”

“Yes, Mark?”

“Be careful.”

Johnny smiled. “Sleep well, Markie.”

 

Johnny regretted not wearing a thicker hoodie, or for that matter, bringing a jacket. It was mid-December, why did he think he’d be able to walk outside without freezing to oblivion? He was thankful Taeyong was already there, sitting on a vert ramp with his legs dangling back and forth. Johnny made a dash for it and felt like a ninja warrior when he could haul himself to sit beside the other, clearly startling him with his sudden appearance.

“You called?”

Taeyong smiled at him. “Cheesy.”

Johnny grabbed the other’s hand, stroking him thumb on the upside, watching how Taeyong went to intertwine their hands, his palm way warmer than Johnny’s. Johnny felt Taeyong lean his head on his shoulders, letting his own head fall on top of the younger’s.

“So what happened?”

Taeyong inhaled deeply before opening up with how it went down.

“They got very mad. They couldn’t understand how I could lie to them like that. So I explained the whole situation with how many courses I’ve read outside of school. Or technically in school still, but on my own. It made it a little better.”

“Will you be allowed to read dance next term?”

“They said it’s up to me, but they would prefer if I didn’t. Something about unhealthy for me to take so many classes, but as long as I keep them updated on how I’m doing, they’ll be fine with it.”

“You’ve been working your ass off and all they want is to know how you’re doing in each class.”

Taeyong let a few seconds pass before answering, the volume of the words indicating that they might have been only for himself. “Yeah. How I’m doing.”

For a short while, the two did nothing but stare at the environment, neither wanting to break the silence. After deciding he had seen most of the skatepark, he turned his head to look at his friend’s peaceful face. What always struck Johnny was how calm Taeyong could be in the worst situations. The boy was overworking himself, yet he was acting as if he wasn’t. The younger was losing sleep, staying up to video call Johnny and do homework in the middle of the night, even if he should be sleeping. Johnny lifted his head, leaning down to press a soft kiss to Taeyong’s hair.

“Is something wrong?”, the kissed man said, leaning back to come face to face with Johnny. Johnny replied with a tiny smile, leaning in slowly to let his lips touch Taeyong’s, the other not turning it down.

“Something is indeed wrong.”

Taeyong frowned, taken aback by how Johnny’s mood took a different turn.

“I can’t believe I still call you a friend when I see you as so much more.”

“If you’re about to tell me I’m more like family, I will snap your neck and leave you here.”

“How can you treat me like this? You’re more than family, you’re like my soulmate! And, you know...I was just wondering. You don’t possibly want to...you know...date me?”

Taeyong’s face was unreadable.

“What makes you think that I for a second”, Taeyong started leaning back to stand up, Johnny’s eyes widening. He scrambled to his feet himself, not quite sure where the situation was heading. “would say no to that?”

Johnny’s face went blank, as did his mind, trying to comprehend what just happened. When the coin fell down, his jaw dropped and Taeyong snickered as he let himself down the ramp, ready to run away.

“Oh, no, no, no, you! Stay here!”

Johnny didn’t hesitate to follow, probably getting himself nasty burns when he slid down the height he had been at. Running after the escaping teen, Johnny used the possible energy spared in his long legs to catch up to the other in no time, grabbing his arm and pulling him back, causing him to hit Johnny’s chest, rather hard.

“Shit, sorry, are you okay?”

“The brick you call chest is pretty solid, just so you know.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

Taeyong grabbed his face, pulling him down, Johnny closing his eyes while it happened. Nothing followed. When he opened his eyes with a raised eyebrow, he saw Taeyong smiling sincerely at him.

“What?”

“You’re so cute. If you weren’t like twice the height as a regular human, I’d say cute describes you better than handsome.”

“You think I’m handsome.”  
“Don’t pretend you haven’t heard me say it before.”

“It’s different now. I feel like everything will be.”

 

School turned out to be more fun when everything felt alright. The fact that winter break was a few hours away was a major reason as well. Seulgi and Seungwan kept their PGA to a minimum, but Johnny couldn’t bring himself not to touch his new boyfriend, who didn’t return the actions, but not turning it down. Johnny wanted to apologize for disturbing his reading time, as he knew the younger had a test coming up later that day, but he figured it wouldn’t bother too much for him not to be able to learn some Maths. Who reads Math at their lunch break, anyway?

“Guys, I’m trying to have a peaceful lunch.”, Seungwan complained.

“Don’t be like that Seungwannie! Don’t act like we haven’t waited for this to happen for some time.”

“Seulgi, you literally became a regular at our table this week. I’ve had to look at them pretend not to be infatuated with each other for almost a whole year.”

“Isn’t it nice to have them actually acknowledging each others’ feelings then?”

“I thought it would be. I was wrong. Very wrong.”

“How did you get to know each other anyway?”

“Detention.”

“All of you went to detention together?”

“Yes?”

“How the hell did Tae get into detention? I mean like...not to shade you, or Johnny over here, or the absent two, but I can come up with multiple reasons you two’d be there. But not for Yong over here.”

That’s when Taeyong looked up from his book, humming softly to get the questioned repeated.

“Johnny, get your man to listen.”

“Johnny was too busy staring at his love to hear anyway.”

The attacked male was glad to see a blush cover his boyfriend’s cheeks.

“How did you end up in the same detention as them? Your parents must have been so pissed.”

“They were thankful.”

The three friends looked at Taeyong with confused expressions across their faces.

“That doesn’t sound like your parents.”

“I was there to catch up with school work because I had been very sick prior to that.”

“Ohh.”, Johnny let out. “You can’t have gotten a lot done with us as company.”

“I didn’t, no. You guys are very distracting.”

Johnny leaned forward to peck the younger’s temple. “Sorry about that.”

“Too late to do anything about it now anyways. And I mean, I got friends for it.”

“You poor unfortunate soul.”, Seungwan cooed. “Got friends like us. What a win-win situation.”

 

Because of Dongyoung and Yoonoh’s absence, the remaining four decided to go find them, as lunch break was yet another half hour by the time they were done.

“Are you sure they are here?”, Taeyong asked the tallest of the squad, to which he got a hand squeeze.

“Trust me.”

“But will Seungwan and I be allowed in?”

“Or else I’ll walk in anyway. Just have everyone be dressed first.”

Knocking on the changing room doors,  Johnny let go of Taeyong’s hand, which caused the shorter to look up.

“Are you asha-”

Instead of holding hands, Johnny decided it would be better if he had his arm around his slightly younger boyfriend. He had not forgotten all of what Yoonoh told them about Taeyong being a hot topic in the changing rooms of the basketball team.

“For safety.”

“How may I help you?”, in the doorway stood one of the guys who helped the coach out with the team.

“We’re looking for Yoonoh. Is he inside?”

The helper just opened the door for them to enter, narrowing his eyes at the two girls.

“I’ll have to go check with the coach if you can come in. There’s no one else but your friend left, but you’re still girls.”

It had been okay, the coach not thinking twice before coming over to greet them by himself. How such a decent human being could coach a team lacking everything but basketball skills, Yoonoh not counted in that description, was beyond Johnny.

“How was the last practice session before break?”, Seungwan said and sat down on the bench Dongyoung sat on.

“It was nice! I will miss it during the next two weeks and it will suck but as long as I can come back again, I don’t have much to complain about.”

“Why wouldn’t you be able to come back?”, Johnny questioned, rolling his eyes.

“It’s tough competition.”

“Jeffrey, you’re the ace of the team. You have nothing to worry about.”, Johnny assured him.

“Thanks, Johnny. You know how to make a man feel better.”

“Yeah, just ask Taeyong.”, Dongyoung said, pointed towards the man underneath Johnny’s arm.

“Jealous?”, Taeyong teased.

“Yoonoh, I’m lonely.”

“And my hair is still wet.”, Yoonoh shrugged.

“I don’t care, it smells good at least.”

“Not as fruity as I do.”, Seungwan fluttered her eyelashes.

“You’re so full of yourself.”, Dongyoung complained.

“It’s called believing in yourself.”

“Fair point.”

“Ay, Yoonoh, have you seen my-”

The guy who stepped in took a look at everyone inside, eyes darting between the two dancers of the squad.

“Seen your what?”, Yoonoh prompted. The guy shook his head.

“M-my shirt. Just my shirt. I must have forgotten it or something.”

“Look for it then.”, Dongyoung requested. The guy bowed and went ahead to his locker, bringing out a long sleeved shirt before locking it again. Before he left he turned back to them, eyes going between the two dancers once again.

“Sungho would’ve loved to be here right now.”

And with that the door was closed.

“What does that mean?”, Seulgi questioned the others. “Who is Sungho?”

Johnny made eye contact with Yoonoh, who nodded, to which Johnny let out a frustrated groan.

“What?”

“Sungho is the guy who harassed you.”

The girl visibly paled, hand going up to cover her mouth.

“That’s...That’s too much.”

“Sungho is the guy who kept saying you’re a lesbian but is into guys himself. The captain of the team.”

They all turned to Yoonoh, some with knowing eyes, some looking confused.

“Am I missing something now?”, Taeyong asked as he glanced up at Johnny, who nuzzled his face into his boyfriend’s hair. “Guys?”

“You know, Tae...you’re a very common subject in here.”, Yoonoh said, not bothering to wait for a reaction before continuing. “Sungho has expressed several times how he wants to sleep with you and the team more or less supports it and would help him if he asked.”

Taeyong didn’t answer, he just looked bothered.

“Are you okay?”, Dongyoung asked his best friend.

“It’s just a weird concept.”

“What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t sound likely. Why would he attack Seulgi for not sleeping with him if he’s into guys?”

Yoonoh sat down beside Dongyoung and Seungwan, arm going around both of them, to which one of the two leaned in and the other sent him a look.

“After you came out to the whole school as gay, he confirmed in here that he’s also gay. You can’t tell anyone though, because it has only ever been said in here and no matter how much of an awful person he is, outing someone is just plain wrong.”, Yoonoh said, hand stroking some hair out of Dongyoung’s face.

“I’m not sure how to take that.”, Taeyong confessed.

“Do you like him?”

“What kind of question is that?”

Johnny pulled the other closer. He could tell his boyfriend was trying to stay calm, but felt bothered by what he was told.

“It’s okay. I won’t let him ever touch you.”

“Thanks.”

They shared a quick kiss, pulling back to see the other staring at them with smirks.

“What?”  
“Nothing, I just waited for such a long time to see that happen.”, Dongyoung admitted.

“Creep.”, Taeyong muttered before speaking up. “Do you have something planned for break?”

“I think we should do something together after school to celebrate.”, Seulgi said.

“We could have a film marathon?”, Johnny suggested, wanting nothing more than to hang out with his favorite people on a cold day like this day.

“Are your parents home today?”, Yoonoh nodded towards him.

“You think my mom would mind having you guys over? She’d probably want to join, but I can tell her not to, so no worries!”

“Nah, she can join if she wants to.”, Dongyoung mumbled, everyone’s attention turning to him. Yoonoh just grabbed his hand and kissed his head.

“Yeah, your mom’s lovely. She can watch with us.”, Seungwan tried to ease the tension.

“She probably just want to supervise us because we’re there couples, all teenagers.”, Yoonoh pointed out.

“Of course. No worries about my dad, if I didn’t hear wrong, he’s on a business trip at the moment.”

“Good, ‘cause that man is scary.”, Taeyong rolled his eyes, clearly not over the poor meeting he had with his boyfriend’s father.

“Don’t mind him.”

“So, what time?”

“How about you all come to my house at five?”

 

After agreeing, they left the locker room and parted ways for whatever class they had to attend, apart from Johnny who decided to follow Taeyong to his classroom.

“Do I have to come at five as well?”

Johnny looked down and stopped walking, holding the smaller hands in his own.

“You can if you want to. Though, I’d love to have you with me way before that.”

“Front gate after school then?”

“Yes please.”

Johnny exhaled as he embraced the younger. He still had a minute before he’d have to run to his class.

“Can I spend the night?”

“Spend the whole break please.”

Taeyong leaned up to place a kiss at the corner of Johnny’s lips, nuzzling his cheek with his nose before pulling back.

“See you in two hours then!”

Smiling to himself, Johnny skipped through the hallway, greeting every other student he passed with such enthusiasm some couldn’t not smile back. Life was great. It was the last day before a three week winter break, Christmas was coming up, New Year was coming up. He could officially kiss his best friend without it being strange, and had almost twenty days to spend with said friend. Nothing could ruin his excitement, not even his father. Life truly was great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, I've had this done for some time but from now on, with what I'm about to do with this, I want to really consider a chapter before publishing. 
> 
> I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, I'm going to Prague on Sunday so I won't really write anything until possibly on Friday next week. Remains to be seen haha. Other than that I'm done with school so I don't have to think about that, I might have an essay left but that's about it. 
> 
>  
> 
> Talk to me on social media!  
> Twitter, Curious Cat, Tumblr: taemarkly
> 
> Snapchat: salamiipnida


	8. 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: wrote most of this on a bus to prague while listening to music in marshall headphones and having my best friend play with my hair. life's good. 
> 
> i hope you enjoy this chapter, it's quite informative regarding the main issue. it is possible to figure it out already, that is if you know what comments and descriptions to focus on :*

“I’m home!”, Johnny announced when he stepped inside the house. Taking Taeyong’s hand, he guided them into the kitchen where his mom was skimming through some psychology magazine.

“Hey honey! Oh, you brought Taeyong! I haven’t seen you for a few days. How are you?”

“I’m alright! You look like you’re doing well?”

“Very much so. How did the presentation go?”

“Teacher was sick so he sent a mail explaining how we’ll do.”, Johnny explained. “Most likely going to be after break. Bummer, I really wanted to get it over with already.”

“Someone loves Helium a lot.”, Taeyong rolled his eyes with a teasing smile dancing on his lips.

“You seem pretty done with yours though.”

“Words cannot express how done I am with it.”

“What element do you have, Taeyong?”, the woman said as she closed the magazine she put little to no attention to since the boys stepped into the room.

“Lithium.”

“The teacher even said you have to focus on something specific, right?”, Johnny asked, not actually hesitate, he remembered that moment very clearly.

“Yeah...he wanted a little more than basic facts.”

Johnny casted a look at his mother’s unreadable expression.

“That’s both unfair and interesting.”, she stood up to leave the kitchen. When passing the couple, she made sure to give them both a hair ruffle.

“Mom!”

Taeyong smiled, no complaints in mind. Johnny assumed the younger was closer to Johnny’s mother rather than his own. It left a bittersweet taste in his mouth to even imagine what his new boyfriend could possibly hide regarding what they have done to him. It made him hold onto the hand in his own hand tighter.

“I have a client soon so I’ll be driving to the clinic now. I’ll be home in two hours.”

“Alright.”, Johnny looked at the clock. The others would be there in half an hour or so.

“By the way, can I bring some friends over?”

“Yeah, sure! Mark is at Donghyuck’s house so he won’t be home until tomorrow or even the day after. Please do not burn the house down.”

 

“So what movie to watch?”, Dongyoung questioned while taking a seat more or less on top of Yoonoh, who hugged the art-loving student.

“If someone says Twilight, I’m leaving.”, Yoonoh threatened.

“Don’t bash Twilight.”, Dongyoung hit his chest lightly.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Keep arguing, princes. I’m picking the movie now.”, Seungwan threw said movie on the living room table. “We’re watching Lion King.”

“What people have I surrounded myself with?”, Yoonoh facepalmed.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to trigger your Disney childhood memories.”

“You really know how to push all of my buttons.”, Yoonoh did nothing to hide his disgust towards the kiss Seungwan sent his way.

“I don’t want your cooties.”

“What about mine?”, Dongyoung pouted. Without hesitation, Yoonoh planted a peck on the awaiting lips.

“Can’t believe you have the guts to treat me like this with the blackmail I’ve got.”

“What blackmail?”, the bunny lookalike asked.

“Yoonoh told Johnny and I that you were friends with benefits before dating.”

The look on Seulgi and Dongyoung’s faces were so oddly similar they could pass as siblings.

“Seungwan!”  
“Yoonoh!”

Both name owners shrunk at the tone of their lovers’ voices.

“Seungwan, that’s rude!”, Seulgi exlaimed.

“I was just saying! No harm intended.”

“I can’t believe you told them!”, Dongyoung leaned back to look Yoonoh in the eyes.

“I didn’t mean to! It’s not like I can take it back anyways. Besides, not like they don’t know we have sex now.”

“You are so embarrassing.”  
“You’re just conservative. Intercourse is natural, I don’t see why you’re so shy when it comes to talking about it.”

“Preach.”, Seungwan said, flinging her arms around her partner. “I say we put the movie in now.”

Looking at his friends, Johnny couldn’t help but to feel thankful for the people he had in his life.

 

Who knew watching Lion King could be so cozy? Johnny had been unsure whether his boyfriend would like to cuddle or not, because he sure as hell wanted to himself. His worries were uncalled for, they had always been close, the amount of times they had been referred to as boyfriends by strangers was laughable. They always cuddled, throwback to the moment before their first kiss, to completely drop all doubt as Taeyong put his head on the older’s shoulder, Johnny immediately leaning his own head on top of the mop of black hair. That’s the position they kept till the end of the movie, both of them receiving sore necks with no regrets.

“What time is it?”, Seulgi asked with a yawn. It made her look like a cuddly teddy bear.

“It’s almost seven. One more movie?”, Dongyoung suggested.

“Can’t we play a game of truth or dare?”, Seungwan asked, eyes twinkling.

“Can we just agree that we don’t do awful things like...I don’t know, scream inappropriate sentences out of the window? I have very young neighbors.”, Johnny asked the others. He knew how far they could go and he’d rather not deal with those consequences.

“We could do only truth?”, Taeyong concluded.

“Sounds like a plan!”, Dongyoung said. “I knew I could count on you to solve this for us, mister extra course!”

Taeyong rolled his eyes. “Well, fuck you, Young.”

“Who wants to start?”

 

They ended up learning a lot of new things about each other, such as how Seulgi likes to photograph things, Seungwan used to be friends with the disgusting team captain, and how Yoonoh’s parents proudly tell their friends that their son is homosexual and dating a lovely man. Never failed to make said lovely man blush. What surprised Johnny the most was what he found out about his boyfriend.

“So Taeyong”, Dongyoung, of course it was Dongyoung asking, started with an evil glimpt in his eyes. How do you think losing the v-card to Johnny will be?”

“Doyoung!”, most of the people in the room yelled.

“Actually it wouldn’t be my first time.”

Johnny could tell his shock was shared by his fellow friends.

“Johnny told us you two haven’t gone further than kissing.”, Yoonoh furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

Taeyong looked shameful. “Johnny won’t be my first.”

“What the hell, Tae? You’ve said you never dated before.”

“We weren’t together.”

No words were needed to express how the company felt. It was beyond what they would have imagined.

“What are you on about? What the fuck did you do, Tae?”

“I mean, Johnny’d be the first one I’d want to do it with.”

Johnny felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach.

“Taeyong…”, Seungwan went to sit in front of him. “Were you forced into having sex with someone?”

“What? No! Sorry if I expressed myself poorly! I just wasn’t right in my mind those other times.”

“Times?”

“Well, yeah.”

“When was this?”

“Before I knew all of you, save for Young.”

“You never told me this either…”, Dongyoung was visibly upset.

“It’s shameful.”

“What really happened? What caused you to do it, if you weren’t right in your mind?”, Seulgi frowned.

“It’s complicated.”

During the whole conversation, Johnny did not say anything. For once he was at complete loss of words.

 

“So who was it?”

They were currently in Johnny’s bed spooning, about to sleep when Johnny took it upon himself to ask.

“Hm?”

“The guys you’ve slept with.”

“Oh.”

He wondered if he’d get an answer. With the time passing wordlessly, he assumed he wouldn’t get any. Hugging the younger closer, he managed to sneak a peck on the neck in front of him without as much as a stretch. The rest of the body belonging to the body went slack against him before it turned, giving him a view of the beautiful eyes his boyfriend owned instead of soft skin of his neck. Hands came up to caress his face, lips coming crashing on his own not long after. The hands stayed when the lips left, Taeyong’s eyes flashing with emotions in a speed faster than Johnny could catch up with. It was as if he was fighting a war within himself right before Johnny’s eyes.

“You probably don’t know them.”

“Have I met them? A name maybe?”

“Didn’t catch any names.”

“Neither of the times?”  
“Nope.”  
“With how many?”  
“A total of three times.”

Johnny hesitated before asking further.

“Why did you never tell me?”

“No offense, but why would I tell you whose bed I’ve spend my nights in before?”, Taeyong questioned with a slight laugh.

“What do you mean? You just entered someone elses house? Without knowing them?”  
“...I wouldn’t want them to know where I live.”

“That’s dangerous! I can’t believe you would do something as fucked as that! You’re not even 18 yet, you were obviously not 18 then!”

“I already told you I wasn’t right in my mind when doing it.”, Taeyong mumbled, not facing the angry male.

“Obviously. You must be straight down mental to do something like that!”

With tear-filled eyes, Taeyong lifted his gaze. Johnny could not lie and say he didn’t feel guilty, but he was too worried not to be upset. How could he have done all of this, at an age around fifteen? Where did he find guys willing to have sex with a minor?

“What is even up with you? You’re acting so out of yourself!”

“What?”  
“You barely sleep, you just keep piling on work as if you actually have time to do so...What do I know? Maybe you’re sleeping around behind my back as well?”

“I can’t believe you would say something like that!”

Johnny flinched at the sudden outburst from the guy in front of him.

“This is why I shouldn’t have told you to begin with!”

“No, Taeyong, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean t-”

He cut himself off when he was left alone in the bed. He almost let the other out of the door before registering what was going on, running after the other and slamming the door shut as fast as it had opened, turning the smaller man around and pressing him to the wood.

“Let me leave! I don’t want to be here!”

“Taeyong, please listen to me!”

At the pleading tone, Taeyong stopped struggling for a second, focusing on Johnny’s eyes, a mild glare still present.

“I didn’t mean to say th-”

“Oh, but you were totally thinking it anywa-”

“I’m just shocked, okay? I just find the fact that you, the type of student teachers love, the guy with the strictest parents, the guy who would rather have a study date than to go out do rebellious stuff, would go and sleep with guys you don’t know...when younger than 16. Even as far as going to their houses.”

Taeyong had no answer as he crossed his arms over his chest, moreso in a way of hugging himself rather than to seem more confident in himself, all while refusing eye contact. Johnny raised his arms to caress where bicep met tricep, lowering his head to get the other’s attention.

“Let’s just end this before you get seriously hurt.”

Johnny couldn’t believe his ears. He had screwed up big time, yet Taeyong is asking them to break things of on his behalf, not to have Johnny hurt.

“No, no, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you feel like this! Please don’t break things off!”

“You’ll only get hurt. You deserve so much better.”

“Don’t say that, who just hurt who? I hurt you. Please, Taeyong, give me another chance!”

“I can’t. I don’t have to go ahead of time you’ll be badly hurt. Maybe even injured.”

“...I think that’s the same thing? But you won’t hurt me! Fight this with me. Together. Please.”

Taeyong didn’t respond for a while but nodded eventually.

“Okay.”

Johnny leaned in to connect their lips.  It started out slow but as soon as Johnny took his opportunity to lick Taeyong’s bottom lip, they both knew they were gone.

“Why don’t you show me what you did with these guys?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got questions or just want to talk? write in the comment section or hmu on social media:  
> twitter, curious cat, tumblr: taemarkly  
> snapchat: salamiipnida
> 
> updates will be more regular, as i no longer have school work (i graduate next friday brb wheezing)


	9. 9

His eyes were closed but he still felt blinded by the sunlight, the brightness making his eyes tear up. He opened them slowly, rubbing them with the arm he had free. Looking to his left, he found his significant other still sleeping peacefully. His hair wasn’t too messy, looking as if someone ruffled it. It was beautifully styled in Johnny’s opinion. Half of the thinner fram was sprawled on top of Johnny, legs tangled as they were chest to chest, Taeyong’s head nicely nestled on top of the older’s collarbone. Johnny’s arm was numb from having held onto the slim waist all night, but it was okay. They were still together, so it was okay. Everything would be okay. 

 

After putting on some clothes, he went to the kitchen to get a drink, where he met Mark, who sat at the table with his phone in his hands. 

“I thought you were sleeping at Donghyuck’s house?”

“Good morning to you too.”

Johnny rolled his eyes but felt his lips tug upwards. 

“Had a change of plans. We decided to hang out with the guys instead and he had stuff to do today anyways.”

“Had fun?”

“You should’ve seen Jaemin, bet most people passing by thought he was drunk or something.”

“No offense but that boy has no limits.”

“You’re telling me. It just reminds me to live for now. What will I do when we depart from school and go to university?”

“I have to leave my friends before you, so you should focus on pitying me instead.”

“Oh! That’s right! You graduate next summer. Wow.”

“Don’t you remind me.”

Johnny grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and was ready to head back to his room when Mark’s voice was heard once again.

“Are you and Taeyong alright?”

Turning all attention to his brother, he unscrewed the tap to take a sip. 

“Why?”

“Because I like to look presentable with my friends, I went home to shower and change clothes-”

“You mean to impress Donghyuck?”

Mark went beet red in an instant and Johnny found it adorable how defensive he got. “No! Absolutely not. I just prefer to represent our squad well. I literally only have Jeno to depend on to be a good face to the people who get scared by the other three. AS I WAS SAYING, later the same night when I got home from our little hang out, I saw Tae’s shoes at the front door, so unless he ran out barefoot, I’ll assume you’re alright?”

Johnny sent him a smile. “Yeah, we’re alright. Probably closer than ever.”

 

When he came back to his room, Taeyong was awake and on the phone, appearing to be bothered or possibly upset. Maybe even a little annoyed. 

“I don’t know why he would tell you that. Mhm...no, I have extra with me - yes, he gave them to me. Yeah. Yes, I have. Don’t be so protective, damn it. I can take care of myself. No. Listen, Jongin, dad wouldn’t let me go if I didn’t, hell, he gives me more for school even though I’m not allowed to take more than two. Can we talk about this later? Don’t be overdramatic. No! Don’t you dare tell him! Jongin, please. He told me we’d fight together. Fuck, I can’t talk to you right now.”

Taeyong threw his phone on the bed and sat down on the edge beside the device. 

“Jongin being annoying?”

“Sometimes I think being annoying is his side job to university rather than being a barista.”

“I’m sure he means no harm. He cares about you a lot, you know.”

“He cares too much about things he shouldn’t put his mind to.”

Johnny stroke his arm with a smile. He had always admired Taeyong and Jongin’s relationship. It wasn’t far off what Johnny and Mark had, but Johnny still considered himself to be way less protective over Mark than Jongin over Taeyong. He trusted Mark, the younger was not dumb the slightest and was more than capable of making his own decisions responsibly. He wasn’t sure why Jongin felt the need to be THAT overprotective of his younger brother. Despite that difference, Johnny loved the contrast it gave himself and Taeyong, in how he was an older sibling but Taeyong was the opposite. It had given their friendship some special color over the years. 

 

“So what do you wanna do?”, Johnny asked as they walked to the kitchen, this time the room was empty. 

“I don’t know really. Do you have any ideas?”

“I just want to spend time with you.”

Taeyong smiled warmly, pushing Johnny back against the counter, attacking his lips. Johnny let his hands wander from Taeyong’s arms, to back, to further down to the small of the other’s back, about to hold the other’s ass-

“What is going on in here?”

As if caught doing something illegal, the couple separated at the speed of light. 

“It’s not what it looks li-”

“Look. I accept you being gay but keep your disgusting behaviour out of my face.”

Johnny’s eyes widened, involuntarily filling with tears. His father thought he was disgusting. His own father was disgusted by him because he liked boys instead of girls. 

“Dad, I…”

“Just take your fairy out of the kitchen. I want to be able to eat. Next time I catch you two doing something as nasty as this, I’ll throw you”, pointing to Taeyong, “out of my house and Youngho here will have to start looking for a new place to live.”

Grabbing his boyfriend’s hand as if it was a lifeline, Johnny dragged them to his room again. Once in their safe zone, Taeyong began to apologize.

“Johnny, I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t finish that.”

Sitting down, defeated, on the bed, Johnny heaved a painful sigh. 

“No matter if we break up or not, never apologize for whatever lovey-dovey thing you do with your lover because of a homophobic cunt who was born yesterday.”

“Johnny…”

Said man stood up again, walking up close to his guy. He grabbed both hands and gave the other an eskimo kiss before opening his mouth to speak again. 

“You mean the world to me. Seeing you hurt would make my heart ache more than any word he says ever will.”

All Johnny could see before embracing Taeyong, was the miserable expression of the other.

 

“So what about ice-skating? Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“Johnny, I can barely walk, how am I going to manage to stand on my two feet on metal blades in order to move forward?”

“Don’t be boring, Taetae! I’ll teach you!”

“I don’t k-”

“Don’t turn down lessons from a master, mister.”

“I don’t have skates.”   
“Neither do I. Luckily the place hires them out at a very cheap price. Our day is saved.”

Smiling to the ground, Taeyong reached forward to intertwine his right hand with Johnny’s left. 

“Show the way.”

“Should we stop at your house to pick up warmer clothes for you? I’d let you wear mine but we’re going skating, not swimming”, he received a punch on the upper arm for that one, “or maybe Mark has clothes that would almost fit you perfectly.”

“Take me home, Romeo.”

 

The other’s house was quiet, as per usual from what Johnny was used to, but judging by the shoes at the door, there was someone home. Taeyong did not make a sound until they were safely locked inside his room. 

“I’m not sure what to wear to be honest…”

“Something warm. Like jeans and a sweater.”

“Cute.”

Johnny chuckled. “Sarcastic.”

“That’s my middle name.”

Taeyong pulled out a pair of regular jeans and a gray knitted shirt. 

“This good enough?”

“This very good enough.”

“...That grammar made my soul leave my body.”

“As if you spoke with perfect grammar, Mr. A-student.”

Taeyong rolled his eyes before giving him a look.

“Turn around.”

“Shy? You certainly weren’t yesterday.”

“Johnny, just turn around while I change.”

“Of course.”

Not that Taeyong would have anything to be ashamed of, Johnny had seen his body multiple times and all that dancing had done wonders to shape and highlight Taeyong’s entire body. But if the younger wanted him to turn around, who would Johnny be to go against that? He made no attempts to look at his shorter boyfriend or react until he felt arms wrap around his waist, the long sleeves of the gray knitted shirt covering thin hands. Cute. 

“Are you sure you won’t freeze in that shirt?”   
“Nah, I won’t. I’m warm-blooded.”

“My mom always told me warm blood meant being cold hearted.”

“You think I have a cold heart?”   
“As long as it beats for me, I don’t care if it’s hot or cold.”

“...That was disgustingly cheesy.”

“No, it was adorable.”

“What type of all time low have we hit for you to compliment your poor excuse of pick  up lines?”

“Taeyong, I can literally feel your smile through my shirt.”

“Hush.”

 

“Have you ever tried inlines before?”   
“Well, yeah but-”   
“The whole concept is the same.”

Taeyong pursed his lips.

“No, this is on two thin metal blades.”   
“And inlines are on two sets of wheels.”

“You know, I’m starting to question your professionalism in ice skating.”

Johnny leaned forward to peck the lips of the guy in doubt sitting beside him. 

“Have I ever done you wrong?”

He felt cold fingers brush his fringe. “Never.”

“Then I say we go on the ice instead of sitting here.”

“You have to promise not to laugh when I fall.”

“Why are you so sure you will fall?”

“Have you seen me walk on the ground?”

As they balanced their way down the stands, down to the rink, Johnny felt the grip in his hand get tighter and tighter.

“Boy, I should’ve worn ice hockey gloves to ensure not having my blood flow stop.”

“And I should’ve taken a whole pill bottle of Xanax but here I am.”

“What the hell is that?”

“It’s one of the drugs to help against anxiety.”   
“Babe, don’t feel anxious over this.”

“It’s alright. I’ve had worse.”

Johnny stepped onto the ice first. Bless the workers for having flushed the ice not long ago. 

“See, perfect ice.”

“You even have standards for ice.”

“Duh. Come now, don’t leave me hanging here alone.”

It took a few minutes for Taeyong to get into what to do with his feet, but he managed surprisingly easy.

“Why were you so worried? We’ve been here for like twenty minutes and you go by easily.”

“Yeah, I might have lied a little. I used to ice skate a little when I was younger. Jongin used to figure skate back in the days.”

“Did you too?”

“Most definitely not. Too complicated.”

“I’m expecting to see a pirouette.”

“Johnny, pirouettes are in dancing, you call it spin in ice skating.”

“I would push you if we were on regular ground. Consider yourself lucky.”

“I have you, haven’t I? What more luck do I need?”

“I-I, no, I’m t-the lucky one.”

The hands gripping his cheeks did the reddening no better.

“Hey, I’m older than you.”

“You’re so cute! If we weren’t close to the center of the ice, I’d kiss you here and now.”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“Well, boo, I would.”

“I can’t wait for the day I can openly shower you in affection. At least I can hold your hand, right?”

“If someone asks, I’m the one teaching you to skate.”

“Taeyong, has anyone ever told you you’re impossible sometimes?”

“You’d be surprised over how often it happens.”

Johnny raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Wanna know a secret?”

“If you don’t want it to stay a secret.”

“I once spent up towards a million won on freaking Wish.”

“In the same day?”   
“In one hour. Bet you my parents called me impossible enough times to last me a year after that.”

“What did you buy?”

“I don’t remember even half actually. My parents didn’t let me keep anything, they sent everything back.”

“What the serious fuck, Tae. How did you even access such amounts of money?”   
“I didn’t. That was the major problem.”

Johnny froze in his position.

“Then why would you...what?”

“I wish I could answer that too.”

“When was this?”

“Good question.”, Johnny was shocked over the confession, but he still found the way Taeyong’s eyebrows furrowed in though cute. He wanted it not to be, he wanted full focus on the story. It could not have been when they knew each other, Johnny had not heard it before. “March two years ago maybe?”

“So...like March in...what would that be? Freshman year?”

“Sounds about right.”

“I think it would be. We met in sophomore year, and during that time you never mentioned this.”

“Reminds me, we only have one year left after this.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“Not like we’ll lose our friends at this point.”

Johnny gripped the hand in his tighter, while guiding Taeyong back to the stands. His feet were beginning to hurt too badly to deal with at skating now.

“I’m counting on you to be right.”

“Doyoung will probably be organizing random activities whenever we’re free of university or college.”

“He so will be. Yoonoh will have no say in it either, unless it’s something beneficial to the plans. On the other hand, he wouldn’t mind as long they stick together.”   
“True. Such goals. How do you think Seungwan and Seulgi are doing?”

As soon as the skates were off, Johnny repressed the urge to groan. So nice. 

“Seungwan said they have plans of spending time with each other’s families. Those two got close so quick.”

“They’ve been texting for some time though.”

“I love how they had barely spoken face to face but after texting for a while, they could spark up a conversation as if continuing their online stuff in real life.”

“It was unexpected. Nice, but unexpected. Ugh, why do these hurt so bad?”

“Want a foot massage?”   
“No, feet are gross.”

Johnny rolled his eyes fondly. “I’m a giver.”

“Don’t say that! That can be taken so many ways.”

“Who’s cute and shy now?”

“You’re so annoying.”

“Next time you go on Wish, you should buy a cheap blush. Or maybe you’re into the way everyone can see you blush naturally so easily.”

“Please, as if strangers can fluster me.”   
“No, but I can. And I’m around you more often than not.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way. Right now I need it more than ever I think.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> figured out what is going on yet? i'll be delighted if you have not haha there is a lot coming up now
> 
>  
> 
> got questions? feel free to ask away here, or on any other social medias i use:  
> twitter, curious cat: taemarkly  
> snapchat: salamiipnida


	10. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: a late happy birthday to taeyong [where i live it's still his birthday so it's okay]! 
> 
> a new character introduced in this chapter and many hints dropped!

“How was your break?”

As much as Johnny had missed his friends over break, he had not missed meeting them in a school corridor at unforgivable morning hours. But this day it was alright, only because he had not seen his friends, save for Taeyong. The worst part of Winter break had been having planned every single day with his friends but they all had to abruptly leave for family holidays. Johnny would never blame them it though, that would be unfair. Besides, he got to spend a lot of time with Taeyong, so it was still a win situation. 

“Must’ve been boring since I wasn’t there.”

“Will you ever stop being so full of yourself, Seungwan?”

“I’m not full of myself, Jeffrey. I simply state facts.”

“I mean...many times Seungwan does light up the atmosphere.”

“Great, now even my boyfriend turned against me.”

Johnny glanced down at his phone, pressing the home button on his black iPhone 8 to check the time. A few minutes past lunch time. 

“Guys, Taeyong and Seulgi should be here soon.”

“Yoonoh, you could have arrived with them if you would have chosen to dance this term.”

“That’s hypocritical of you to say Doyoung. You promised you would teach me to dance.”

Yoonoh received a slap on the arm for his comment. “Stop lying. You already know how to dance.”

“I can’t with you two.”, Seungwan rolled her eyes, a smile spreading across her lips. “I know Yoonoh here can dance, but I’ve never seen Gummy dance.”

“What the hell did you just call me?”

Seungwan shrugged. “Gummy. When you smile the brightest, you have a gummy smile.”

“Don’t mention it.”, Dongyoung whined at her, lips pouted slightly. The corners of Yoonoh’s lips twitched a little as he lay his hand on top of Dongyoung’s hair, tangling his hand in the soft black hair. He leaned in kiss the corner of the older's lips, hugging Dongyoung's upper body close. 

“It’s gorgeous.”, he whispered, Dongyoung’s response being hugging onto Yoonoh the best he could as they sat on the bench belonging to the cafeteria table. 

“Shit, sorry Doyoungie, I didn’t know you didn’t know about that. For real, you have like the best smile!”

“Thanks Seungwan.”

“I’ll make it up to you. I’m just going to think about how to do that, but I will.”

“Hey guys!”

“Seulgi really be coming here saving this table from sinking.”, Dongyoung stated, words slightly muffled from being half-pressed into Yoonoh.

“Have we missed something?”

Johnny turned around to greet them and was shocked to find someone standing beside the dancing duo of the group. There was a dark haired guy with a smile as bright as a LED lamp. Johnny loved how he looked genuinely happy.

“Who’s this?”

Taeyong stepped aside to push the guy they had brought forward. 

“Sorry, I’m like struggling with Korean.”

He did have an accent, Johnny could not place where it was from, but it was there. Not a bad thing, just something that was there. 

“I’m Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul. Most people call me Ten though. I’d prefer if you do too, so I won’t have to hear you butcher my name.”

There was something about the guy that was insanely attractive, Johnny assumed it was the smile combined with the charm he had. He was the type of guy Johnny would love to be around because of the positive vibes radiating off of him. Taeyong sat down beside Johnny, kissing his cheek before grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers. Seulgi brought Ten over to their side of the table, Seungwan greeting both of them with her brightest smile. They gave him a quick introduction to all members of the squad, Ten declaring he might forget who's who and hoping for no one to take offense from it. 

“So Ten, why did you come here at this time of the school year?”

“You know. The usual. One half of my parents got a new job and we had to move here. I was actually supposed to start earlier but I don’t know. Easier to start at a fresh new term than just enter in the middle of another one.”

“Maybe rude to ask but I’ll do anyways - you don’t sound very Korean. Neither your accent or name.”

Ten let out a lighthearted laugh. “No, I’m Thai.”

“What is this table?”, Seulgi questioned. “There are three non-native Koreans at the moment.”

“Can I get to guess?”

“Shoot.”

Ten’s eyes wandered around the table, taking some time to think and eyes narrowing from time to time, probably arguing with himself. 

“Okay. Can I get like, hints? Like what two places am I looking at?”

“USA and Canada.”

“North America, nice. Okay, so you and you.”

Johnny flung his arm around Taeyong. “It’s you and me against the world, babe.”

“Hail the foreign couple.”, Seungwan cheered.

“Was I right or not?”, Ten looked around.

“Both yes and no.”

A head was rested on his shoulder, Johnny leaning his own on top of it. Taeyong had spent the night again, but Johnny was more than sure he slept more than enough to have energy to face the day. At least when compared to the nights where Taeyong would sleep way too little. He assumed it was from the lack of vitamin D, as the sun was pretty much gone at this time of the year, and on top of that Taeyong danced and moved around a lot. Kissing his head, Johnny turned back to Ten who was sat in front of him. 

“Then who are the foreigners here?”

Johnny and Seungwan made eye contact before reaching across the table to do a high five. 

“Miss Canada and Mister America. Both partly Korean though.”, Yoonoh stated, before bringing up the story the whole table had heard one too many times. “I used to live in America for four years when I was younger.”

“Good to know I have some people to speak English with.”

“Hey, don’t underestimate us, we’re fully capable of understanding English. Can’t guarantee any response though.”, Dongyoung pointed out. “So you’re reading dance?”

“Yes, I’ve always been a dancer, and this was the only school in the area that offered it. And everyone seems so nice?”

“No, that’s just us.”

“Oh, like that! I got lucky the cold couple in dance class were warm then.”

Johnny could see where he was coming from. If he had not been introduced to Seulgi through Taeyong, he would have assumed she was rude, solemnly based on her appearance. Her face might be pretty, but her features were sharp, she could scare people off if she wanted to and Johnny hoped he would never have to see her angry. Who knew how that would be? Taeyong on the other hand, was not as scary the first time Johnny noticed him in detention, he had looked fragile and a little tired, but not cold. It took him a week of knowing him to see what all the girls talked about. He could see why most people found him cold. It’s always easier to be full of words without knowing. Johnny had been there too many times himself, and it was always as regretful.

“Ten, you’re staring again.”, Taeyong mumbled.

“You seriously look like you’re mixed or something.”

Johnny’s shoulder got cold as soon as the head was lifted. 

“What?"

“Yeah. It’s not a bad thing, don’t get me wrong! Your face just looks unique. Like you don’t have the stereotypical Korean features? Your eyes are just unrealistically big. Did you go under the knife for those?”

“All natural.”, Taeyong chuckled tiredly before leaning back against Johnny again. Johnny could hear the other five argue about something about it being unfair to have these features naturally, but Johnny paid more attention to the person pressed against him.

“You’re so tired today.”, Johnny softly said, rubbing his hand over the arm that was not pressed up against him. “Will you manage?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have a headache?”

“A little.”

Johnny pushed his boyfriend away enough to reach into his bag under the table. Pushing aside a few books, he spotted the familiar case. Moving on to the smaller pocket on the side, he brought out a small pill box.

“First thing first - the glasses that you left at my desk.”

Johnny proceeded to repeat the same action as when he found out Taeyong hated his glasses, and put them on for him.

“There. All set. Secondly, here is an ibuprofen.”

“I can't take those.”

Johnny went blank. “Why? It’s against headaches.”

“These pills have lithium in them.”

“Wow, someone took their chemistry element seriously.”

“Of course. If I gotta present it to others, I need to give them the information they need.”

“So that’s what teacher wanted you to do? Where you can find lithium in day to day situations?”

“Basically.”

“Just take it. I’m sure a little lithium wouldn’t hurt you.”

“What if I get lithium intoxication?”

Johnny laughed. “Sounds likely.”

Despite trying to get out of the situation, Taeyong grabbed his bottle of water, uncapping it and popping the pill into his mouth, not without a little hesitation. As soon as the water bottle was placed on the table again, Johnny embraced his younger boyfriend again, pulling his legs up in his lap, while the other arm went around his neck to comfortably place his hand above Taeyong’s ear, massaging his head a little, causing Taeyong to close his eyes. 

“You’re such relationship goals.”, Ten commented as soon as Johnny was out of his own little world. 

“I know right.”

“You should’ve seen them before they got together. Never seen two people be so dumb before.”

“Wendy, no one asked you.”

“Johnny, please, it was adorable but annoying. Just like you can be.”

“Very funny.”

“You know I love you.”

"What do you have after lunch?", Dongyoung questioned the newcomer.

“Chemistry.”

“Oh, it’s the same as me and Taeyong!”, Johnny stretched his back, delighted he would get to know Ten a little better.

“You’ll have to show the way, or else we’ll never get there.”, Ten laughed lightly, smile having yet to leave his face this whole time. He had an award winning smile, that was for sure. 

“One of you look too tired for that. I’ll let you guess yourself.”, while the comment sounded sarcastic, Yoonoh’s frown gave it another feeling. “Are you okay, Tae?”

Johnny had been sure the dancer was asleep against his chest, but he nodded straight away. He opened his eyes, looking just as tired as before, but not as if he had actually slept during this time. 

“I can’t believe Johnny has the decency to keep you up all night.”, Dongyoung stated, standing up to sit on the other side of Taeyong instead of between Yoonoh and Johnny. “You look so done. Are you sure you shouldn’t go home?”

“I need the two upcoming classes.”

“No, you need rest.”

“I’ve slept plenty, it’s fine.”

“Okay, we’ll go to Chemistry. If it gets worse, then you’ll have to go.”

“That’s not your decision!”

The whole table did a double take at the sudden outburst.

“Taeyong-”   
“I need to breathe.”

It took little time for him to grab his bag and head out of the cafeteria. 

“What the hell was that?”

“Should I go talk to him?”, Ten asked. “I feel like I might be the problem.”

“Of course you aren’t. I’ll get it.”

 

Johnny had no idea where Taeyong could have gone, he checked the rooftop in case but it was empty. Most students were in the cafeteria at this time thankfully. He was about to turn the other way in one corridor when he heard the obnoxious voice belonging to a person he happened to hold a grudge against. Until he heard the name of the guy he was looking for. It had him walking closer, the basketball captain coming into view and parts of Taeyong, who was sat on a bench behind the lockers. From his current position, Johnny could only see the head buried in hands, elbows on knees. 

“Let me keep you company, Taeyong. You don’t have to sit here all alone. I’m great company. You look in no shape to be alone.”

“Leave.”

“Someone’s snappy.”

“Just leave!”

“Fuck, sorry. Just ask nicely next time. Sorry that I care about you unlike your dear boyfriend.”

Johnny was thankful he got the hint after being snapped at. He was not sure if he could have gone up against the guy, no matter how much he would have wanted to. In all honesty, Johnny could really give him a slap over the head at the moment, but he was not one to cause drama if he could avoid it. 

“Babe?”

The hands holding the head went down, Taeyong pushing himself forward to stand and fall onto Johnny. 

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. I just love you so much.”

“Should I get a teacher? Should I call your parents? My mom?”

“No, don’t call anyone.”

Johnny rocked them back and forth. “I just don’t want you to fall ill.”

Taeyong chuckled. “Not like illness is something you can prevent anyways. Don’t worry about it.”

“Do you think it’s a cold?”

“Who knows?”

A few minutes went by, nothing happening except for them holding on to each other, but with time passing, Johnny could feel Taeyong’s heartbeat pick up more and more.

“Honey, for real, what is wrong? How are you feeling? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I’m just...a little anxious.”

“I’ll get-”

“We start soon, we have to go get Ten.”

“But-”   
“Let’s go.”

Taeyong disappeared from his arms, one hand grasping Johnny's bigger one and dragging him back to the cafeteria to get Ten. As long as Johnny had known him, Taeyong had never been behind in school work, Johnny could not understand why he was dead set on staying when it was obvious he was feeling unwell. Taeyong could surely be a mystery when he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> questions or want to talk? contact me here, on twitter (twitter.com/taemarkly) or on curious cat (curiouscat.me/taemarkly)!


	11. 11

“Oh, you’re back! For a second I thought you would bail me!”

“No, never.”, Johnny told him, motioning for him to come to where they were standing. As soon as they had arrived in the cafeteria, Taeyong was about to let go of his hand, only to have Johnny grabbing it again. He was rewarded with a squeeze. It had Johnny wondering if Taeyong was insecure in some way, but he could not find anything for him to be insecure about. He had yet to get answers about why Taeyong was suddenly feeling as bad as he was, he had noticed how distant he was when waking up, but he assumed it would get better during the day. Not worse. 

“Are you sure you should stay?”, Ten sent Taeyong a concerned glance. “You look done for.”

“Just call me ugly instead of avoiding it.”

“It’s not that you’re ugly. You just...look ill.”

“I’m not ill!”, Taeyong snapped, hand breaking free of Johnny’s grip to cross his arms over his chest. “We should go before we’re late.”

As soon as he had turned around, Johnny lay his hand over Ten’s shoulder, giving him a few taps.

“Why is he angry?”, Ten questioned in English. Johnny was sure Taeyong was not listening anyways, but it felt safer to answer in the same language.

“Not sure. I found him being bothered by the basketball captain and they don’t have the brightest past to put it lightly. Might have contributed to it.”

“Oh. I hope he’s alright.”

“He should be.”

 

It was odd to Johnny. Taeyong was not usually angry, but when he was, it usually did not last for more than half an hour, icy glares turning into blank expressions instead. But more than an hour had passed since the lesson started and Taeyong had not let his eyes leave the window, his upper body leaning on the desk, with his head nestled in his arms. He had also not gotten anything done, which was the biggest surprise, as he more often than not double checked every assignment. It could be because he had gotten the project done over break, but Johnny had not seen him work with it when they spent time together, which had been most of the break. The assignment may just have been finished way before that. Johnny had no actual clue.

“Mr. Lee?”

Slowly, he turned his head to face the teacher, no emotion apparent in his usually beautiful eyes whatsoever. 

“Yeah?”

“How come you’re not working?”

“Sorry.”

Johnny examined the teacher’s face for a few seconds, long enough not to miss the hesitation replaced by decisiveness before he continued asking.

“Are you feeling alright?”

“Sure.”

“Go to the nurse office.”

“No, it’s alright, I’ll work.”

“Forget this presentation, go to the nurse.”

“Nothing’s off.”

“I’ve talked with the other teachers who are also very suspicious.”

Taeyong groaned as he stood up, clearly annoyed over what he was told to do. Before he made his way to the door, the teacher spoke up again.

“Believe it or not, but we actually care, Taeyong.”

Taeyong rolled his eyes as he walked out of the door.

“Mr. Seo?”

“Yes?”

“Do you mind if I borrow your time for a few minutes? It’s regarding Lee Taeyong’s behavior.”

“No, of course not.”

The teacher turned the chair from the desk in front of the one Johnny and Taeyong used, to have a seat in front of Johnny.

“How...What to ask without crossing the line? Hm...How has he been acting?”

Johnny frowned. “I don’t understand the question.”

“Has he been...overly energized? Or slept less than usual? Been overly productive?”

“No, he sleeps a lot more than usual. Before break he had a time where he’d stay up half of the night and get like 3 hours of sleep. Now it’s more like 13. No, that’s overdoing it. But definitely more than 10 hours.”

“Is that all?”

“No, we’ve mostly been at home, in the beginning we went out doing a lot of stuff, but he has been tired lately. I think he might have caught a cold or something.”

The teacher stood up again, seemingly in thoughts before he focused on Johnny. 

“You...you don’t have to answer, absolutely not, and I apologize for asking. But the two of you are dating?”

“Yes?”

“How has your sex life been?”

Johnny felt his face grow warm. He did not want a mirror at the moment. He did not find it awkward to talk about intercourse normally, but when an adult asks in the middle of a classroom, that might be pretty empty but still, it is awkward. Very awkward.

“I-I...What?”

“You don’t have to answer! It’s just...very helpful in order to get him the proper help he needs.” 

“He...he hasn’t been in the mood the last two weeks. Said he wanted to do more meaningful things with the time rather than...you know.”

“Thanks, I got everything I need.”

Johnny frowned.

“He might just be angry because he’s feeling unwell. He had a headache earlier but I think it isn’t as bad now.”

“A headache?”

“Yeah, I gave him an ibuprofen.”

“I’m going to the nurse office.”, with big steps, he was almost out of the room before he turned back. “Do you need help with anything to do with the presentation?”

“No, everything’s clear.”

The teacher nodded and was out of the door in a few seconds, the door not closing behind him. 

Johnny was in a mild state of confusion. 

 

“So, when did you move here?”

Ten had been an angel and joined him in Taeyong’s usual seat. Not even ten minutes had passed since the teacher had left but he had yet to come back. As Ten preferred to converse in English, Johnny would not turn it down. He had been in his position too, but had no one to help him out. Who would Johnny be to pressure him?

“When I was 9.”

“That’s a good age, right?”

“I mean, I’ve always been a pretty open person, so my young self didn’t find it hard to find friends, you know?”

“Was that how you met Yoonoh?”

“Ha, funny story actually. My dad worked in the same company as his, but in different cities in the US. A couple of times a year...once every third month or something like that, they had a meeting for all employees and they were allowed to bring family if they wanted. That’s how Yoonoh and I met. Then we kept in touch for a couple of years before he moved back to Korea where he grew up and we lost contact.”

“And you moved back and met again?”

“Basically. I moved back at the end of primary school. Turned out we would attend the same high school.”

“That’s insane.”

“I know right!”

“What about the Canadian girl?”

“Seungwan I also met here. She had lived here a little longer though, but wanted to attend this school in particular for whatever reason. Haven’t asked why...Might have been because of friends or something, but I don’t know.”

“Shouldn’t you have noticed if you started hanging out as soon as high school started?”

“We didn’t. We just had a few classes together, but didn’t talk until we were paired up for a school project. You know, the classical first talk.”

“Of course.”

“Can I just ask?”

“Ask what?”

“Why did you stick with us? We’re like a real loser squad.”

“If you stick together as well as Stephen King’s Losers’ Club, then I’d love to stick around.”

“You’ve read it?”

“Parts of it. Too many pages for my liking.”

“Same honestly.”

“So...have you and Taeyong dated for long?”

“No. Only like a month actually. Why are you asking?”

“You just seem very close.”

“We are, he’s been one of my best friends since we became friends halfway through first year.”

“That’s not a long time ago.”

“Nope. Just a little more than a year or so. Met in detention and got introduced because Doyoung can’t shut up.”

“I like that guy. He’s funny.”

“I know. Very sarcastic but have amazing comebacks.”

“I’ve noticed. He’s quick-witted!”

“He just wants everyone to feel comfortable and have a good time.”

“That’s lovely.”

“Yeah.”

“And Ten?”

“Hm?”

“I...Please don’t dislike Taeyong for how he’s been acting today.”

“I mean, if you two are dating he must have charming points beside his looks. And he was very nice in dance class, both him and Seulgi were welcoming, but then we got to the cafeteria.”

“He’s not usually like this. He just has a bad day.”

“You don’t think he’s jealous, do you?”

“Of what?”

“Us.”

“You’ve lost me.”

“Because I also speak English and can communicate with you in another language. I mean, he did start acting clingy and shady when you and I had been introduced to each other.”

Johnny leaned back against the chair back. It was not untrue, but why would Taeyong be jealous? Sure, Ten was attractive in all ways, from looks to personality, but Johnny did not feel anything else for him. If it was like that, he could as well been jealous of Yoonoh or Dongyoung, but he was not. Could also be because they were dating, but it was still strange.

“I can’t answer that to be honest. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t think he’s jea-”

“Johnny?”

He turned his head to the front of the classroom, to find Jongin standing there looking mildly distressed. 

“Hi Jongin! What are you doing here?”

“I need Taeyong’s stuff.”

“What is wrong with him?”

Jongin smiled weakly. “Don’t think about it. Hopefully he just needs a few days off.”

“Can I talk to him?”

“Sorry but we’re taking him home this instant. It’s for the best.”

Johnny handed him Taeyong’s bag after putting the untouched notebook in the biggest pocket. 

“Can I come by tonight then?”

“Hate to say it, but you should wait a little. He just needs to recover.”

Johnny nodded. He could not go against what was said, he had no idea what was going on. 

“Tell him the best from me? And that I love him?”

Jongin’s eyes widened. “You...Are you...You know...dating?”

“...He hasn’t told you?”

“Just...Just don’t tell our parents, okay?”

He was officially hurt. He knew Taeyong had told him he would keep his sexuality a secret for as long as he could, but he assumed he would have to break that secret when they started dating. What did his parents think when Taeyong spent several nights in a row at Johnny’s place? 

“See you around, Johnny.”

“Who was that?”

“Taeyong’s brother.”

“What kind of killer genes does that family have? Did you see that skintone? Gorgeous! It’s unfair those siblings got the whole package!”

Johnny chuckled, hand running through his hair. “Yeah. It’s really unfair.”

 

“It’s probably just a fever, Johnny. No need to worry, he’ll be back before you know it.”

“But Jongin said it would take a couple of days?”

“That’s what happens when you have a fever. Must make sure to be completely well before you can go back to school, as you might know why you have a fever. It could be because of a contagious illness, and to avoid others catching it, you stay home a few days. If everyone did, the risk to have the entire school shut down because of it would be very small.”

Johnny did not respond, and swirled his drink around. He wished he could be as wild and free of worries as the little bit of water left in his glass was. Just following the way life guided him and facing the problems as they came instead of trying to make himself free of them completely by thinking everything in advance. 

“Don’t worry, Johnny. He’ll be back before you know it.”

“I hope so too.”

His mother kissed the top of his head. 

“He’s just been acting a little weird the last few days.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Can’t you take a look at him if he keeps acting this way?”

“Honey, I am not allowed to take care of those who aren’t my patients. If I could I would, I promise.”

He leaned his head against his mother’s shoulder.

“Should I make you tea instead of water?”

“No. I just. I just need a moment.”

An arm wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer.

“Take as many moments as you need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: i've been thinking about publishing this for almost a week, but the conversation between the teacher and johnny made me question it. wow. sorry about that. but it was very awkward. awkward but actually needed.
> 
> ngl, the last chapters have been so foreshadowing, i feel like i've just pulled the string of a confetti canon. 
> 
> questions or just want to talk? contact me here, on twitter [twitter.com/taemarkly] or write to me anonymously on curious cat [curiouscat.me/taemarkly]
> 
>  
> 
> also, i'll have you know i'll re-write this once i finish, as i now have a clearer outline of this as an entirety.


	12. 12

He did end up texting Taeyong before bed anyways, despite being a good listener and having a lot of respect for Jongin. Going against his word once would not hurt anyone. 

 

**To Yongie <3:**

_ r u ok? _

 

His plan was to send a quick text and then go to sleep, but it turned out to be harder than planned. Why had his message not been read yet? It had already been a minute. Was it too flat? Did it sound as if he did not care and just asked because of it being a duty? He cast a glance at the message again and decided that yes, yes it did sound too flat for being him. When reading it again, all he could think of was how short it was. What if Taeyong thought Johnny did not have the time to type out a full message? He was already sick, or something like that, and a message like that would not make him feel better. 

“Let’s try again.”, he whispered to himself.

 

**To Yongie <3:**

_ Listen. I’m not sure if you want to talk to me or not, I’m not even sure what happened after you went to the nurse office. Is it about Ten? There’s nothing going on between us, I feel nothing that’s not platonic for him, I promise. I’m a little scared of what’s going on with you to be honest. I would not mind having you vent to me about whatever you’re going through, I’d support you through everything. I just want to know, you know? See you tomorrow?  _

_ Sleep well! I love you. Never forget that. _

 

He hit send before he could rethink everything once again, the whole text felt right as he typed it out. And it was definitely more heartfelt than the first one. As he took a quick look at it again, he frowned. Maybe it was a little too serious, with all punctation where it should be, in a context where he usually didn not bother to use it. No. He wanted Taeyong to see how serious he was.  
He put the phone down beside his pillow, closing the lockscreen not to be disturbed by the blue light radiating off of his screen. Taeyong might have had a period where he spent more hours asleep than awake, but it was usually the opposite, and Johnny was sure it was turning back to normal again, which meant Johnny’s text would have a reply when he woke up. Him and Taeyong would be fine. No need to worry. Johnny had cleared up the situation between him and Ten, a situation he could not see where it would have come from, but Ten’s statement about how Taeyong had started acting shadier when Ten and Johnny were introduced to each other had not been untrue. He sincerely had. In general, Taeyong was a nice person, he had in fact been a little less...gentle and thoughtful the last few weeks, but Johnny assumed it was at fault of the winter. Being moodier in winter was a thing, right? He would have to ask his mother about that, but he was sure there was some seasonal caused depression that happened not to be unusual. He hoped it was not.

 

As on any other day, he was woken up by the familiar Girls’ Generation tune, having no thoughts of changing his alarm. What better way to start your day than having such a masterpiece playing. He checked the time and decided he could leave bed earlier than he usually would, and headed for his bathroom. It was strange to wake up alone, when was the last time it had happened? The last month Taeyong had probably spent more time at Johnny’s house than at his own, and while a month had little days compared to a whole year, that particular month had been special. He would not trade it for anything in the world.

When he entered the kitchen, he was greeted by his two favorite blood-related family members as per usual. 

"What a nice bright blue hoodie you've got there."

"Stop complaining, my friends wanted us to look like the teletubbies or something, we're all going for colorful shirts today."

"I have a marine blue hoodie if you'd like to borrow it."

"You'd let me?"

"Of course, it will probably be a little big on you, it's big on Taeyo-"

He cut himself off, his brain realizing something.

"Shit, I gave it to Taeyong last week, I can ask if he can bring it here it you want."

"No. no. no. It's okay. This hoodie is not that bad is it?"

Johnny turned his head a little to the side to look from different perspectives.

"Well. It could be worse."

"Thanks for the support. Best brother award goes to you."

"I'm honored."

"You better be."

He took a toast, spreading some butter on it when his mother entered the conversation.

"Have you talked to your man?"

Johnny put the butter knife back in the package, before facing her.

"I sent him a text yesterday. Not sure if he has responded yet."

"Did you fight?", Mark questioned, mouth full of cereal causing their mother to sigh and rub her temples.

"That's not how I raised you."

"Sorry mama."

"No, we didn't fight. He just had to leave school half-way through Chemistry because the nurse must've decided he was too sick to stay."

"That sucks! I hope he'll get better soon."

"I hope too. I miss him already and it hasn't even been 24 hours yet."

 

"Where's Tae?", Dongyoung questioned once they met up during lunch, the only hour Johnny actually had with Dongyoung. "I tried calling him to ask if he was up for a library date yesterday but he didn't pick up."

"Yeah, I would have avoided that call too."

"Seungwan, I swear-"

"He's sick."

Johnny caught all of their attention.

"Oh no. When was the last time he was sick?", Yoonoh questioned the others, himself looking up as he normally did when thinking.

"He hasn't been during the time we've known him.", Johnny answered. He had already calculated it several times to make sure.

"Yes, he had been sick when you met him in detention.", Dongyoung pointed out, Johnny finding the gummy smile owner's voice tone to be soothing. 

"That was then! How long ago was that?", Seungwan began calculating on her fingers. "I have been to detention a few times after...but it must've been at least a year ago."

"It was."

"Was it just a fever?", Seulgi asked, picking up a carrot stick, getting a disgusted look from Seungwan when she offered it to her.

"I think so. He didn't say."

"No, but I mean then. Not this time, but last time."

Dongyoung leaned back, almost falling off the bench had it not been for Yoonoh's arms wrapping around him from behind. He was rewarded with a thankful, genuine smile, before Dongyoung looked out over the table again. "He never told me, but he was gone for like two months I think."

"That's really strange. What illness is that long-lasting?", Seulgi frowned, worry clear in her eyes, Seungwan's eyes not much different as she gripped the hand resting on the table. Johnny felt a thug at the edge of his lips when seeing Seulgi give Seungwan's hand a squeeze. He felt a little pathetic over missing Taeyong so much when it had only been a day. But not knowing why he was gone made it worse, why could Jongin not have said 'it is a fever' or something like that to ease Johnny's mind. Even if he suspected it already, having it said by someone would let him tone down the worry. J ohnny picked up his phone to see if he had received a text yet, but his inbox was empty still. 

"Johnny, I really need some help with this Chemistry essay, do you think you can spend an hour with me after school?"

Facing Ten, he rolled his eyes. "Do you even have to ask that? Of course! I don't usually get to help people."

"What a saviour you are! I was thankful I didn't have to hold an oral presentation but then he told me to write a whole goddamn essay instead."

"Due to tomorrow?"

"No, Sunday."

"That sucks, you just get no mercy, do you?"

"Nope. Must hate me.", Ten grinned, biting down on the stray from his drink before taking a sip, head jerking back as his hand came up to cover his mouth. "Shit, brain-freeze."

"Who drinks ice-coffe in the winter?", Johnny found himself chuckling at Ten who rubbed his fingertips on his temple to soothe his head.

"I don't think it's possible to hate you, Ten. With your charm you can get anyone wrapped around your fingers.", Seungwan pointed out, leaning forward towards the new guy. Ten mirrored her from across the table. 

"Of course, with my years of experience I can-"

"Where's your dear boyfriend?"

The mood of the table dropped significantly when hearing the familiar voice of the basketball team captain. Johnny noticed how both Seungwan and Yoonoh moved closer to Seulgi, Johnny wanting to do the same but sitting on the wrong side of the table. It should not be something to worry about, especially not after Yoonoh told them about the sexuality of the basketball team, but who knew what a guy like that could be up to.

"None of your business."

"Just wondering."

"Why would you wonder? Stay away instead.", Dongyoung rolled his eyes. "No one at this table want anything to do with you."

"I'm not talking to you, you fucking rabbit."

"Hey!", Yoonoh told him off, the team captain not finding it within himself to insult his own teammate. Such decency.

"Who was the guy he was with yesterday?"

"It was probably just his brother-"

"I know who his brother is. Not him. Same height as Taeyong. Smile brighter than the sun. Refused to let a centimeter be between him and your precious little boyfriend."

"He was at home yesterday because he was sick. Pretty sure he did not go out to meet someone."

The team captain, or Sungho, had a growing smirk on his lips.

"He hasn't told you anything, has he?"

"Told me what?"

"Oh, don't you worry about that. Now that you know he's cheating on you, the two of you won't last anyway."

"He won't date you, if that's what you think", Dongyoung snapped, being sent an angry glare from the team captain. 

"Before I take my leave, let me give you a piece of advice."

Sungho leaned in close to Johnny's ear, head positioned between Ten and Johnny. 

"He might not be the type to top, but he loves to be on top. Oh, and don't get me started on the sensitivity of the skin around his hip bones."

Johnny felt his blood run cold, eyes widening and ears ringing. His chest got tighter, breathing not coming as naturally as it should. Sungho’s smirk was disgusting, the look not fading as he turned and walked away. That was when Ten flew up from his seat and dumped the rest of his drink on the captain's head. If their table did not have all attention already, it certainly had now. There was not a soul speaking, the tension in the room heavy enough for Johnny to want to stick a knife through it. Sungho was standing frozen, shoulders almost reaching his ears from being shocked by the cold drink he showered unwillingly in. Seungwan took the opportunity to break the silence.  

"Congrats Ten! Now you have someone who definitely hates you."


End file.
